Can you really feel ‘pampered’ on pap-smear day?

So there I was, bladder bursting, starving and moody, on my way to my annual ‘female health’ check-up. And by annual, I mean the first one I’ve had in three years – because I’ll do absolutely anything to avoid it.

I’d heard about a new women’s health centre from a friend, and decided to book an appointment there instead of the usual stuffy gynae’s office hidden away down a rabbit-warren of corridors at the local hospital. “It couldn’t get much worse,” I reasoned.

Although appointments for annual check-ups need to be booked weeks in advance, the centre did send me a friendly SMS on Monday to remind me to arrive with a full bladder, and to not eat any food for six hours before Tuesday’s appointment. “Well, we’re off to a decent start,” I thought. “At least they didn’t just give me a tiny business card with the date and time scrawled on it, and expect me to find it in my purse two months later.”

Every woman I’ve spoken to dreads this day

We’ll come up with all kinds of excuses to delay our check-ups for as long as possible. “It’s too expensive,” “I’m sure nothing’s wrong with me”, “I’ve got too much work to do”, “The doctor really creeps me out!”

Unfortunately, for most of us, it’s only when we get worried about a lump, or things aren’t going so well ‘down there’ that we hastily book an appointment. While we wait for D-day to arrive, we stress about all the ‘what if’s’ and possible disastrous news we could hear. “What if it’s cancer?”, “What if I need major surgery?”, “What if it’s already too late?”, “Is my life insurance policy up to date?” (don’t deny it - you know you’ve thought these things).

(Don’t deny it - you know you’ve thought these things.)

It’s no wonder that, on the day of the appointment, we’re grumpy from too many sleepless nights thinking about the worst possible outcome. Also, we’re hungry and our bladders are bursting.

Arriving at destination

But there I was, “arriving at destination” said my GPS – that woman’s voice is annoying at the best of times, but this time, it really ticked me off. “I know, I know, I can read the sign,” I snapped at her. I trekked up the stairs, and entered the ‘place of doom’.

Actually, I had to do a double-take, and re-read the sign on the door to make sure I was at the right address. A bright and sunny reception area, with a bright and sunny receptionist greeted me.

She ushered me into the waiting room to fill out my forms, and there I sat, on couches that I covet for my own lounge, surrounded by subtle femininity. The understated, elegant design of the space, and the fresh (non-hospital!) smell made me feel slightly more at ease. Except my bladder was still bursting.

Meet the doctor

At 8:30 on the dot (seriously, when has a doctor’s appointment ever actually started on time?!), a cheerful nurse fetched me for some blood pressure tests.

I was then introduced to Dr Sandra Weidner who taught me more about my body in an hour and a half than five years of high school biology. After a brief family history, we got started on the scans - all the ‘bits’ and boobs. But instead of the usual hospital gown, I was given a gorgeous fluffy ‘boob tube’ dress to wear, and the examination bed had a heated blanket on it! I almost hugged the doctor when I found out - these winter mornings can lead to some embarrassing nipple issues.

Dr Weidner talked me through every single scan, showed me exactly where, and what everything was, and assured me that all my bits and pieces were still where they should be, and doing what they should be doing. I’ve never had a doctor who was so honest and open and willing to share her knowledge in a ‘gynae 101’ kind of way.

How can one of the “worst” days of the year leave you feeling pampered, respected, and cared for?

Women should be in charge of women’s health

How can one of the “worst” days of the year leave you feeling pampered, respected, and cared for? My conclusion is that women should be in charge of women’s health. There should be hundreds of centres like this in every province in the country.

We’d see a massive increase in women taking charge of their personal, intimate health, and we’d see a huge increase in the early diagnosis of breast and cervical cancers. All we want is to feel respected, and to feel informed. The décor and the heated blankets are a very welcome bonus!

About WOMEN4LIFE

The WOMEN4LIFE centre in Port Elizabeth, Eastern Cape, was started by Dr Adi-Mari Schoeman MBChB (UOVS) NCMP and Dr Sita Pretorius MBChB (UP) NCMP in 2012. It is the province’s first exclusively women’s health clinic - run for women, by women and is dedicated to annual thorough check-ups for women.

Its goal is to be a “bridge between empowering women to be informed on their current health status and referral to GPs and gynaecologists or specialists for abnormalities that are detected during their annual WOMEN4LIFE examinations.”

There are currently five doctors who consult from the centre at various times during the week.

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