4 Women Share the Real Struggle of Overcoming Their Mothers Negative Body Image  

When I was growing up, my mom was always going on diets. Usually ones that involved drinking her meals, forgoing fruit and dairy in the name of cutting carbs, or simply not eating. Inevitably, the diets would end in frustration, emotional eating, and more weight gain. She called herself fat. She hated her body.

It wasn't until years later —maybe even decades—that I realized how much her (very vocal) distaste for her body affected how I felt in my own skin. Despite the fact that she never told me that I needed to lose weight, and always pointed it out whenshe noticed a guy checking out my butt (I've always been bootylicious), I still had a horrible body image.

"She called herself fat. She hated her body."

Most women mimic their mothers' behaviors in regard to body image, eating, and dieting, says Mary Pritchard, Ph.D., a psychologist and body image expert at Boise State University. In fact, research published in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association shows by age five (!!!), girls who have observed their mothers diet are more likely to be concerned about their own weight.

Sounds about right. During my pre-teen years, any changes in my waist were a big deal to me. (Of course, I had a tape measure in my bedroom for the sole purpose of measuring my waist, hips, and thighs.) By high school graduation, I had binged on entire boxes of brownie batter for after-school snacks, taken laxatives, and made myself throw up on more occasions than I'm proud to admit.

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At the time, I never considered how backwards it was that I judged my mom's extreme yo-yo dieting, while I was doing the same thing in secret.

Fortunately, I'm not doing it any more. Now, I see food as fuel, rather than as something to curb emotional pain. My workouts connect me with my body as a powerful extension of who I am. I still occasionally pinch my stomach or look at myself disapprovingly in the mirror. But when I fall into those old behaviors, I recognize it and snap myself out of it, so to speak. I recognize that my body image, not my actual body, is the problem. And there's power in that.

 

Time for dessert! The sugar doesn't count if it's a vegan donut, right? ;)

A photo posted by K. Aleisha Fetters (@kafetters) on Feb 18, 2016 at 9:36pm PST

It's no coincidence that I write about health, fitness, and weight loss every day. My own efforts to rehab my relationship with my body are the driving factor behind my work. That passion paid off in helping my mom overcome a type 2 diabetes diagnosis, a new low for her. But she's made an amazing transformation, not just in terms of the scale, but also in her relationship with food and with her body. With encouragement and support, or with advice on decoding food labels and performing strength moves, I've helped her recover her confidence.

My mom and I are proof that any woman can surmount the negative body image struggle that she grew up seeing. And ultimately, she can help other women—even her mom—love their bodies as well. #FullCircle

But, like I said, I'm far from the only woman who has broken away from her mother’s weight struggles. Here, three other women share how they came to love the bodies their mamas gave them.

My mom and I are proof that any woman can surmount the negative body image that she grew up seeing.

"Despite my mom's confidence in her professional and personal achievements, she regularly spoke poorly about her body. She would wear a one-piece swimsuit in our backyard pool because of her 'stretched out belly.' She never wore tank tops because she 'hated her arms.' At the time, I definitely had my own insecurities, despite my very athletic body, I didn't wear shorts because 'I hated my thighs.' I realized a couple of years ago that I was following the example set for me. So when my first son was born, I made a conscious effort to appreciate my body as it was or to make more healthy and active choices so that I was proud of my body.  I love to hear my toddler say, 'Momma is strong!' or 'Show me your muscles, momma!'" —Lauren W., 29

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"Most of the women in my family struggle with their weight—including my mom. As far back as I can remember, she was always trying to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better. She never said anything about my body, but the fact that she was always talking about hers made me self-conscious. I worried about my weight, how jiggly I thought I was, and cellulite. Growing up, getting more on your plate for less money was a deal—unless my mom was dieting, in which case calories were bad. But, I've learned to view food as something to truly enjoy. If I'm hungry, I eat. If I'm not enjoying a food, I stop eating it. Once I did that, the way I viewed my body changed." —Amy W., 29

"Despite my mom's poor body image while I was growing up, mine never suffered. I think the smartest move my parents made was putting me in gymnastics at a young age. In eighth grade, I probably had bigger biceps than most of the boys in my class, and I thought that was something to be proud of. Being part of a sport that demanded so much physical strength gave me confidence in my body. Recently, my mom attempted to focus on being healthier, rather than skinnier. She tries to walk two miles, five days a week. And since she started, I've noticed a change in how she sees herself and how she sees those around her. Now she calls me to tell me how many miles she walked or how many times she worked out that week—rather than how many pounds she gained or lost." —Priya K., 19

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