I Conquered My Past and Lost Over 130 Pounds

Before: 303 pounds
After: 168

The Lifestyle
Genetics have not been kind to me—my grandparents and parents are overweight, so that must've trickled down from them to me. But 10 years ago, I was working at a hotel when I was sexually assaulted and robbed at gunpoint. I don't remember everything that happened—my body went into shock—but it made me mistrust people. It hurt me so much so that I didn't date for eight years. The entire experience was traumatizing, and I didn't know how else to cope with that except to eat. Eating was my emotional comfort, and that's when I really started to pack on weight. I didn't realize this was happening because food made me feel happy. It wasn't uncommon for me to order a whole pizza and eat it by myself. It was in 2011 when I had my wakeup call.

The Change
The fall came and went, and I was still battling my depression from that scary night years ago. Then one morning at 4 a.m. in the spring, I thought I was having a heart attack, which turned out to be a panic attack instead. Still, that is not how I wanted to die. My father passed away from heart disease, and my grandmother had a heart attack—the thought of me having one just really freaked me out. So that day, I walked around the block at my school (I'm a teacher) during lunch. Something had to change, or else I wouldn't make it through another summer.

I started with exercise—and that was absolutely terrifying. I walked into the local YMCA and signed up to work with a trainer. And thank goodness. First, we started off super-slowly—sitting up and down in a chair and walking stairs. Mind you, I was still very nervous to work so closely with someone—especially a guy—because of my previous incident. But this trainer saved my life. He encouraged me to talk, open up, and let him know what I really wanted out of my workouts and life. I told him I had a goal of running a 5-K, and he cheered me on to train for this. That Thanksgiving, I did it. Yes, people walked past me—senior citizens!—but I finished the race. Crossing that finish line made me feel so proud. I truly believed I could never, ever do this, and this changed my entire mindset; I had it in me to accomplish things I didn't think were possible. Fun fact: I just finished my 20th 5-K.

My trainer's workouts were hard—I was sore, tired, and wanted to cry at points. But he always pushed me to stop running from the fear and pain, toughen up, and get through it. I could be in tears, and he still forced me onto the treadmill. He didn't allow any B.S. from me. While I no longer work with the same trainer (we were together for about one and a half years), my new one has introduced me to strength training, which I love. I'm doing my first powerlifting competition soon. I'll probably come in last place, but I don't care—I'm so excited!

My nutrition was not an overnight change, but it was something that had to be done. So I made small improvements. I started my days with breakfast—a whole-wheat bagel with peanut butter for instance—cooked at home, cut soda, and packed my own lunch. Then I'd dedicate time on the weekends to preparing meals in my kitchen for the entire week. I'm not on a diet per se, and I don't want to be. If I want to eat pizza, I'll make my own with a whole-wheat crust and turkey sausage. Some of my favorite go-tos are enchiladas in a whole-wheat wrap with shredded chicken inside, sweet potato fries, and turkey burgers (sometimes wrapped in lettuce instead of the buns). It's funny because you can actually go to certain fast food places or restaurants, request healthier options, and they'll satisfy your request. All you have to do is ask!

The Reward
I'm so much more confident and happier with myself. And I'm no longer afraid of going out and not fitting into a booth or rollercoaster seat. Those are some of the biggest changes I love about my journey. On another note, I love shopping and trying on whatever I want—my whole life I've never been able to have fun picking out new clothes. Last December was the first time I walked into Victoria's Secret and tried on lingerie. I had a moment in the dressing room like, "Oh my God, I'm actually trying on Victoria's Secret!" I ended up buying a $50 red nighty thing. The beauty of my purchase was that it was for me—I didn't have a date or anything. I had to do this for myself.

My Tips
Don't be too proud to ask for help when you need it. You're at your current weight because of something, and it's okay to reach out and ask for guidance from another person. Never feel judged or ashamed.
Make gradual food changes.  You'll be overwhelmed if you do it all at once and won't stick with it.
Change the way you think about weight loss. It's more of a mental change than just a physical one. I didn't realize I could do a 5-K until I actually did it.

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Amy Penrod, 39, is 5'6" and lives in Quincy, Illinois.

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