Top 10 Ways to Fail Miserably At Losing Weight

Americans are getting fatter. I hate to be the one to put it so bluntly, but the scales don't lie. 65% of adult Americans are either overweight or obese. 25% of Americans are obese.

Now for the bad news - things are only getting worse. In 1991, only four states had obesity rates of 15 to 19 percent and none had obesity rates greater than 20 percent. By the year 2000, all of the 50 states had obesity rates of 15 percent or greater, with 35 of the 50 states having obesity rates as high as 20 percent or greater.

In 2005, obesity rates increased in 49 out of 50 States (congratulations to Oregon for bucking the trend). The Trust for America's Health is projecting that by 2008 a staggering 73% of US adults could be overweight or obese. The trend is clear - we are all getting fatter by the day.

With the rise of the Internet and our new information on demand society you can hardly sneeze without hitting a "how to lose weight article." Books, articles, videos, TV specials, magazine, blogs, web sites - they are filled with tips and tricks on how to lose weight. Is there any celebrity left who has not published a diet book?

So, two trends seem undeniable - we are getting fatter and we are getting bombarded with articles on how not to get fatter. In fact, I would argue there is a direct correlation - the more articles written on losing weight, the more weight we gain. While it was a reasonable assumption to think that writing articles on how to lose weight would help people lose weight - the numbers reveal that is not true.

Not one to ignore statistics - I now see as a health author I am part of the obesity problem. Today I will correct that mistake. If writing articles on how to lose weight has led to record levels of obesity, then writing an article on how to gain weight should lead to record levels of weight loss.

In my quest to help reverse the growing obesity rate, here are my

Top 10 Ways to Fail Miserably at Losing Weight...

1. Natural = Bad. Fully processed = good

Fruits, vegetables, whole grains - these just don't spike the blood sugar levels. Fully processed, close to impossible to digest foods - this is where you get to ride the insulin roller coaster to certain weight gain.

2. If you can pronounce the ingredients in your food, you are eating the wrong food.

Grab a snack, flip it over and read the ingredients. If you can actually pronounce all the ingredients - put it down. You need to concentrate on snacks that have a list of ingredients that require a PhD in chemical engineering to decipher.

3. Drink more Eggnog

At 430 calories and 20 grams of fat per cup - Eggnog is a guaranteed way to put on those extra pounds. Stock up around the holidays, you want to make sure you still have eggnog left when you are trying to put on that extra 10 pounds so your bikini doesn't fall off you come summer time.

4. It is hard to eat while exercising - so don't exercise.

Exercise simply cuts into the few waking hours you have to eat food - so don't do it!

5. Eat Late

Numerous studies have shown that our body has a tough time burning the calories we eat late at night. Try to have your largest, sugar laden meals just seconds before you doze off.

6. Super size your Super Size

Super Size meals, Double Big Gulps - all moves in the right direction, but just not enough. A good rule of thumb - if you don't need a dolly to carry your meal from a fast food restaurant - you haven't super sized enough.

7. Remove all mirrors from your home

Mirrors just reflect reality - who wants this. You need to make sure the media decides exactly how you perceive yourself.

8. Eat Out and Eat Often

Having all your meals away from home is a great way to pack on the extra pounds. Of course, "all you can eat buffets" are the Holy Grail of gaining weight.

9. Have all home faucets rewired to a soda keg

Drinking plenty of water can wreck havoc on your goal of NOT losing weight. To avoid any temptation to drink water, have a plumber hook your faucets up to a soda keg. Simply replacing 60 ounces of water with the same amount of Coke will add a nifty 700 calories to your diet.

10. Remove all positive people from your life

You are going to need to be down, depressed and negative to succeed in failing your diet. Remember - food is your comfort, not friends or family. Stock the cupboards with comfort food and disconnect the phone.

While other writers continue to act irresponsibly - contributing to the obesity rate by writing articles on how to lose weight - I want to be able to sleep at night. If I could just get Oprah and Dr. Phil to join me in writing articles on how not to lose weight, I am sure we could put an end to obesity.

Copyright (c) 2006 Hoodia Advice, LLC

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