Successful Weight Loss: Ask For What You Want

What will it take for you to achieve the weight loss and health you really want? One of the things which prevents people losing weight is they don't believe they can have what they want. Or even, as individuals, they don't deserve what they want, they generally don't ask for it. You're not likely to get what you want until firstly, you determine what this is and then ask for it. There's a saying 'If you don't ask, you don't get'. This holds true for many things in life and definitely plays a big part in your journey to successful weight loss.

When I start working with individuals to lose weight, I hear mainly all the things they don't want. One of the first steps is to turn this into what they do want.

"I'm quite happy to exercise more, but I don't enjoy doing it on my own."

"I've heard what you don't want, that you don't want to exercise on your own, now tell me what you do want."

"I want someone to exercise with"

"Great, now you know what you want, we can work on achieving that."

Although this may not seem much of a difference, the main shift is that when you determine what you want, you start to look for ways to make this to happen. Whereas, when you're focusing on what you don't want, you're more likely to get stuck.

"Let's be more specific. Which particular area of exercising do you want to do more of?"

"I'd like to take one step aerobic class regularly each week."

"What day would this be?"

"Tuesday or Thursday at 7pm, so I'll ask a friend to come with me."

"Which friend are you going to ask?"

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that?"

The more specific you are in asking for what you want, the more chance you have of achieving it.

"So, who specifically do you want to join you at the step aerobic class."

"I could ask Helen."

"Great, who else?"

"Mmm, I'll have a think."

"The more choices you allow yourself, the easier it's going to be to find someone. I suggest you come up with a list of 10 people to ask."

I really encourage you to ask as specifically as you can for what you want. My suggestion is that you make a list of all the things you say you don't want with regard to your weight and health. Now, looking at each item, turn it around and write next to it what you don't want. Then, consider what you need to ask for specifically, to make this happen. Although this process appears to be simple, many people don't find it easy. Defining what you really want and asking for it can be challenging. You may want to have some support and encouragement with this process, by working with a coach.

Asking for what you want is a life skill and it requires practice. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Like most things, the first step is the hardest. I encourage you to ask for what you want in the situations you feel most comfortable with as a starting point. When you feel ready, then progress steadily to situations which are more difficult for you.

What I want is for you to ask for what you want.

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