7 Things That Only Someone Trying To Lose Weight Over 40 Understands

This may be a common refrain in women of a certain age, but you can feel better by reframing your goals now that you're older. Losing weight becomes less about looking good and more about taking care of your health.

"It's easy to feel crummy about where you are and to kick yourself for waiting so long," says Pamela Smith Finkelman, 66, who lost 50 pounds 8 years ago and has maintained her weight since. "But if you can accept where you're at, and then start to make changes to your diet and move more, you'll still reap the health benefits. That's what it's all about when you get older."

Marybeth Graf, 52, an IT specialist in Bridgewater, NJ, was warned that she should take some weight off before her blood pressure climbed too high. "I sort of dismissed it, and a year and a half later I needed to go on blood pressure medication," she says. "I was warned and ignored it. I needed to accept that I screwed up." But since her diagnosis, she has lost 33 pounds.

As you age, your skin doesn't respond like it used to. When you lose weight later in life, your skin may sag and wrinkle, which may create deeper lines in the face, jowls, or extra skin on the arm. When you lose weight, you shed extra collagen, but collagen helps prevent wrinkles. 

A study of identical twins found that in sets under 55, the twin with the higher body mass index looked older. But over 55, that phenomenon was reversed and the thinner of the two tended to have more wrinkles. 

To minimize the toll losing weight takes on your skin, stay hydrated and eat healthy fats from avocado, coconut, and oily fish.

As the "big change" knocks your hormones out of whack, you begin to store weight in your belly rather than your hips and thighs, and your metabolism starts to slow down, a nasty double whammy. Worse, the symptoms of menopause can severely disrupt sleep, and that, studies show, primes your body to store even more fat while increasing cravings for unhealthy carbs. People who are sleep deprived try to make up their energy deficit by eating more. (Balance your hormones and lose up to 15 pounds in just 3 weeks; here's how!)

For that reason, accepting the status quo is key: "My doctor has told me that if I'm going through menopause and not gaining weight, I must be doing something right," says Graf. "I'm trying to be happy with where I am, watch that the weight doesn't creep back up, and accept that I need to go through this in life before reaching my target weight."

Embracing yourself, your family, and your accomplishments in life are what matter most at a certain age; the need for a buff body fades in comparison to what you've achieved in your life. "When you do lose weight," says Finkelman, "any small amount of weight helps your health tremendously. That's what it's all about when you get older. I don't care so much about how I look as having the energy to play with my grandchildren."

When you're older, dieting alone becomes a problem because it can lead to muscle and bone loss. For the safest and healthiest approach, you really need to combine diet and exercise. A study in the journal Obesity found that the combo was the most effective way for postmenopausal overweight women to lose weight and improve their body composition.

Cutting out sweets, snacks, and processed foods while adding lean meats and lots of leafy green vegetables will help you feel full on less food. And be sure to make strength training part of your weekly exercise regimen so you can build muscle—which boosts metabolism—and protect your bones.

One of the most difficult aspects of losing weight later in life is battling a lifetime of less-than-healthy eating habits. "After I found a diet and exercise routine that worked," Finkelman says, "I needed to develop rigid habits and never let up." Finkelman needed a year or two for her new habits to become ingrained. "If you slip up or relax, the weight comes right back," she says. To keep your weight from yo-yoing, you'll need to commit to lifelong behavioral and dietary changes and to an active lifestyle, according to a review in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Successful dieters north of 40 lean heavily on a support network. A 2015 study of overweight women entering menopause, published in the Journal of Clinical Nursing, found that a support network helped women handle negative feelings, difficulty with overcoming obstacles to weight loss, and transitioning into new habits.

Finkelman relied on Weight Watchers. "It means the world to have support groups clapping for every small achievement," she says. "You can talk about how you watched 2 hours of reality TV and didn't touch a single potato chip, and they all clap. Sometimes you just need people who understand why that's an accomplishment." 

Graf looks to her family for support. She and her sisters-in-law call each other frequently, text positive notes, and encourage each other daily. Her daughter, who recently moved home after graduating from college, joins her in exercising and preparing healthy meals. "It's been so hard to lose weight, not like when I was younger and could easily drop down to a size 2," she says. "When I was a size 14, I needed my family's constant support to keep me motivated." (Here's how to get weight loss support from your spouse.)