Anne Armstrong was one of those clients. She hated her body. When you hate something, how do you treat it? Think about it. Well, in Anne's case, she ignored it. "My body and I didn't get along," she told me in retrospect. "I didn't accept it. In fact, I hated the way it fit in clothes. I hated the way it looked. I hated the image that stared back at me every time I looked in the mirror. I hated it so much that I ignored it completely. I focused all of my attention on other things, mostly work."
Anne worked such long hours that she never ate true meals. Her food life revolved around two food groups: the candy she ate at her desk and the fast food she ate during her commute. As a result, her weight became out of control. At her heaviest, she weighed 222 pounds.
When Anne came to me for help, I told her about the power of acceptance. I told her that she needed to stop hating her body and instead learn to treat it with love and respect. Once she learned this important secret to weight-loss success, she lost 32 pounds! And the weight is still coming off.
"The moment I unconditionally accepted my body, I began to feel free," she said. "I began to treat my body with more honesty and respect. The moment I accepted my body for what it was, I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders, and my life became mine and not a lie."
Now, I want to teach you the secret that helped Anne, Marta, and countless others finally stick to a weight loss program, lose weight and keep it off. It's going to sound deceivingly simple, but here it is: You must unconditionally and completely accept and respect your current body—right now—no matter how many pounds you wish to lose.
I say that this is deceivingly simple because most people believe one of two falsehoods that prevent them from turning this secret into a reality:
1. They think they will accept and respect their bodies once they lose the weight they want to lose.
2. They think they already accept and respect their bodies.
If you don't fully accept and respect your current body, you will never treat it as the most precious gift that has ever been given to you. If you don't respect your body and treat it as a precious gift, then you will never find the willpower and motivation to exercise each day, stick to healthy food portions, drink plenty of water, and get enough sleep.
That's why your first step in the 8 Minutes in the Morning for Real Shapes, Real Sizes plan will be to discover how to deeply and wholeheartedly feel that you are "good enough" and "amazing enough" right now—no matter how much weight you want to lose. Are you ready to take that step? Let's get started!
The Power of Unconditional Acceptance
Let's start with the first myth I mentioned earlier. You must accept and respect your body right now—not once you lose the weight.
Many people falsely think that they will instantly begin to love their bodies once they lose the weight they feel they need to lose. That's simply not true. I know this because some of the most tortured people I've ever met have also been some of the thinnest. Ask just about any person from a size 6 to a size 26 about their weight loss needs, and most will tell you that they really need to lose a few pounds. They'll call their bodies nasty names that they wouldn't call their worst enemies.
Still not convinced? Well, a Glamour magazine survey found that 61% of respondents were ashamed of their hips, 64% of their stomachs, and 72% of their thighs—regardless of their current body size. Studies further show that 30% of women aspire to attain a body size that's 20% underweight, and 44% aspire to a size that's 10% underweight.
So, if you think that a smaller body size will automatically result in better body acceptance, you've put the cart before the horse. Rather, body acceptance will result in a smaller body size—not the other way around. Once you learn to accept and respect your body, you will instantly treat it differently.
Let me give you an example. Imagine you just bought yourself something expensive, something you've wanted for a long time and worked hard to earn. For example, let's say you just bought a brand new, ultra-expensive BMW convertible.
How would you treat it?
You'd treat it carefully, right? You'd drive off the car lot nice and slow. You'd certainly look both ways as you pulled onto the road. You'd stay an extra-safe distance behind the car in front of you—no tailgating today! And you'd be hyperaware of every other car on the road. You'd park far away from other cars in parking lots. You'd fill the car with premium gasoline. You'd faithfully change the oil every 3,000 miles. You'd park it in the garage instead of leaving it out in the rain. You'd routinely wash off every smudge. You'd never eat fast food while you were driving, and you certainly wouldn't let your teenage son drive it to school!
Am I right? That's certainly how I would treat a brand-new, expensive car.
Now let's take a look at the opposite scenario. How would you treat an older, "not-so-nice" car? Let's say the car's paint had rusted off a long time ago. Maybe the seats have faded and become threadbare. There are already a few stains on the floor and maybe even a few dents in the bumper.
Would you drive this car extra slow on the highway? Would you take care not to tailgate? Would you park it far away from other cars at the strip mall? Would you wash and wax it every week? Would you tune it up? Would you change the oil every 3,000 miles?
I doubt it. Yes, you'd neglect this car. What would happen before long? Would that car get better, stay the same, or fall apart more quickly? You know the answer.
A New Perspective
But now imagine what would happen if, instead of neglecting that old car, you began treating it like that brand-new BMW. What if you started changing the oil, taking it in for tune-ups, washing and waxing it regularly, and telling your teenage son to keep his hands off?
It would become a nicer car. Suddenly the old paint job would start to shine, and the car would start to run like its old self. You'd proudly tell your friends, "Yes, it's still running great after all these years."
Your body is a lot like that old car. If you begin to fill it with the best foods, slowly ease it onto the highway of fitness, and prevent yourself and others from inflicting nicks and dents with verbal abuse, it will respond by performing better than you ever dreamed.
Even better, your body will outperform that old car. If you accept, respect, and love your current body, it will transform itself not just into a better or nicer body, but rather into a brand- new body. No car can do that—only the precious human body can. No matter what age, or how overweight it is, the human body can transform itself into something that's healthier and stronger—with your help, of course.
Here's the best benefit of truly respecting your current body without any conditions: You will consistently ensure that you are your highest priority in your life. Work, the kids, your spouse, the phone, television, e-mail, and everything else will come second.
How do I know this is true? I have worked with more than 3 million clients. I know from my most successful 8-minute marvels that real weight loss only happens once your body becomes your highest priority. It's that simple.
If you don't respect your body, you'll place lots of other priorities ahead of your body's needs. When it's time to exercise in the morning, you'll tell yourself that your body can wait, that you first must make the kids their lunches. When it's time to watch your food portions, you'll again put your body on hold, supersizing your meal because you had a rough day.
But here's what happens when you fully accept and respect your body: You'll make your body your first priority because you love your kids, or spouse, or career. You'll make your body your first priority because you know deep down that body acceptance and respect is the secret to better health, which is the secret to having more energy, love, and compassion for your family and your job. Putting your body first gives you the health and energy you need to become a better mother or father, spouse, friend, and employee.
I truly hope that you now realize the true magic that comes from fully accepting, respecting, and loving your body. This one distinction will lead you down a new path to success and health for a lifetime. Only when you take care of you, will you be able to give to those you love.
