Prevention found six women with significant stress-induced health issues who fought back, developing their own arsenal of stress-busting habits and weapons. Their experiences can help you get through each day stronger, calmer, and more in charge of your life than ever.
Teresa Kay-Aba Kennedy
36, single; yoga instructor and entrepreneur, New York City
Stress problem: Digestive troubles
"In 1997, I spent 10 days in the hospital before I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. I almost died." Although the precise causes of Crohn's—a painful inflammatory bowel disease that affects about 1 million Americans—are unknown, stress may worsen the disease.
Knew she was in trouble when "I read what the doctor wrote on my chart—he called me a workaholic. Here I was, in my 20s, an MBA with a big job at MTV. I was always waving off my boyfriend when he tried to talk to me about balance. Working until 1:00 am was normal—and fun. And here's a doctor writing, 'TV executive, high stress, never takes vacations.' In his eyes, I was a stress case. It was very humbling."
How stress fooled her "I never felt stressed-out, even though I had some physical symptoms. I thought I was the picture of health—I even had six-pack abs." When she injured her back during a workout, the pain medication aggravated the Crohn's, putting her back at square one.
What saved her Yoga. "For a year, I couldn't even lift myself out of a bathtub because of the inflamed disk in my back. At first, my approach to yoga was just to practice breathing." Over the next year, she gained strength and then began to train as a teacher. In 2002, she founded the Ta Yoga House in Harlem. "I know I'm a type A yogi, but my practice has given me a new sense of managing my energy. I've rebuilt my health from the ground up."
Why it works Yoga diminished stress symptoms in a 2004 Reed College and Oregon Health Sciences University study of 18 yoga students. And in a 2003 Spanish study, researchers found that when 42 people with Crohn's learned stress-relieving techniques, most had significantly less pain.
Early warning signs "Mostly, my Crohn's is under control now. But when my joints start to ache--a symptom of a pending flare-up—I know I haven't been taking care of myself."
Emergency stress Rx "I focus on breathing deeply. You can do it anytime, even if you're injured or too busy to do yoga."
Serenity strategy "In addition to my daily yoga practice, I keep my mantra right on my computer: faith, family, and healthy food."
Allison Whaite
30, divorced; development coordinator, home building company, San Diego
Stress problem: Obesity
Two-thirds of Americans are overweight, and chronic stress is part of the cause. Elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol have been linked to increases in body fat and a decreased ability to sleep, so the body has less energy to exercise and craves more quick-fix snacks.
Knew she was in trouble when "I saw my reflection in the glare of the TV one night. I had always been a big stress eater, but I was in an unhappy marriage, which was making me eat more and more. My husband would go in one room and use the computer; I'd go in the other and eat. That night, I really saw myself, shoveling chips in my mouth while I was watching one of those home-decorating shows. I just said, What are you doing? The next month, I signed up with Jenny Craig."
How stress fooled her Research has shown that big-league stressors—like Whaite's lousy marriage and subsequent divorce—compounded weight issues, regardless of what study subjects ate and how much they exercised. And in a 2003 study from the University of California, San Francisco, stressed-out rats went for foods that were high in sugar, fat, or both, instead of their normal rat chow.
What saved her "Daily exercise. At first, I hated it. Then one day, I went walking with some friends in the park. People were there with their dogs; birds were singing; it was sunny. And I realized, this is what I need to handle my stress. When I hit my goal weight of 165 pounds, I bought myself a Tiffany bracelet that says I did it."
Why it works Women who increase the intensity of their workouts (as Whaite did by cranking up her walking to running) reduce anxiety even more effectively, found a 2003 study.
Early warning signs "M&Ms. But as I've gotten used to eating healthy meals, it only happens every few weeks."
Emergency stress Rx "Heading outdoors for a run or a walk, enjoying the fresh air and the scenery."
Serenity strategy "Because stress makes me crave food, I've retrained myself to find other things that soothe me, like spending time with friends or getting manicures and pedicures."
Marlene Welch
45, single, raising her 12-year-old nephew; marketing, Chicago
Stress problem: Anger
Women are especially vulnerable to the health risks anger creates. A 2004 study of 1,500 women found a high correlation between needing anger management therapy and having heart disease symptoms. And women are more likely than men to take out their work-related stress and anger at home. Scientists still don't know whether women suffer more than men because they repress their anger. But they do think stress plays a key role: A study of rats found evidence of a fast-acting feedback loop, where the animal's stress and anger continually reinforced each other.
Knew she was in trouble when "I felt like my life was falling apart. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and although I had taken care of that problem, everything was still a mess—my marriage was imploding, and I was always unhappy. I called a couples' counselor to make an appointment, and over the phone, the therapist said to me, 'You sound angry.' I got mad and heard myself saying, 'I'm not angry!' I was that out of touch."
How stress fooled her "I just didn't get the connection between stress and anger. And then it was hard for me to admit I was angry. If I admitted it, that meant I was not a nice person."
What saved her Therapy. "Right after I started meeting weekly with Mitch Messner, the director of the Anger Clinic in Chicago, I had a really dramatic 'aha' moment. As I was telling him what was wrong, he told me I was in danger of living the rest of my life as a miserable woman. All of a sudden, it hit me. I was angry with everybody. But I had a choice. I could keep on playing the victim and be angry—or be happy. It was up to me." Though she and her husband eventually divorced, a year of regular therapy helped her see how directly her anger stemmed from the way she handled stress.
Why it works While therapy isn't a Band-Aid for all emotional problems, researchers at Stanford University found that the coping skills learned in therapy are even more valuable for people with anger management problems than for those with depression.
Early warning signs "My heart pounds, I breathe faster, and I feel afraid. "
Emergency stress Rx "I'll sit down and write an 'anger letter'—a quick note to help me figure out who or what I'm really upset with or about. They aren't meant to be sent. I've written them to my ex, my parents, even myself. They clarify things. And taking 10 deep breaths helps a lot. When I do have an outburst with someone—which happens infrequently—I make sure we sit down and talk about it afterward."
Serenity strategy "I still see the therapist from time to time, when I feel like I need to check in, and I've also run some anger management sessions for women at the Anger Clinic. Helping other people with the same problem gives me perspective."
Valerie Szabo
40s, single, 6-year-old son; divorce lawyer, McLean, VA
Stress problem: Insomnia
Experts believe that the inability to get adequate sleep affects 60 million Americans, and more women than men. Stress is a primary cause, says the National Center on Sleep Disorders Research.
Knew she was in trouble when "I once fell asleep at a meeting after winning an intense trial. The client was a doctor, and I woke up to find him taking my pulse, yelling out, 'It's okay—she's not dead!' "
How stress fooled her Szabo often has to work long hours, preparing for trials on a schedule she doesn't control. "But I was letting cases keep me up at night, often bringing files home."
What saved her Aromatherapy. "The work I do is very emotionally draining because so often children are involved. And I'm trying to be a good mother, trying to date. It's hard to shut those stresses out. Fragrance helps. I love roses—I planted 21 rosebushes in my backyard, just for the smell. And I like lotions and bath scents that smell pretty. Peach and orange and other citruses are energizing, but my favorites are soothing cinnamon and vanilla."
Why it works There's a semblance of science behind the bubble-bath theory. In a study published in the International Journal of Cosmetic Science, researchers at the industry trade group International Flavors & Fragrances reported that the majority of the 100 women who took scented baths not only felt more relaxed but were more relaxed than those who took unscented ones. Scientists looked at electronic images of the trapezius muscles (the ones in your upper back that turn to stone when you're stuck in traffic) to measure tension levels. Another recent study found that the citrus smell of clementines made people feel happiest; vanilla made them feel most relaxed.
Early warning signs "When I'm on the computer and it's 10:30 pm, and then when I look up again, it's 2:30 am."
Emergency stress Rx "I have a huge Jacuzzi—it's like the double-wide of Jacuzzis—and I'll float vanilla candles in it and take a long bath before bed."
Serenity strategy "Finishing up the day with a ritual of pretty smells, like face creams and herbal tea, helps me feel more ready for sleep."
Mary Farley
54, married, two children; works part-time for film production company, Mt. Kisco, NY
Stress problem: Two major heart attacks, 8 years apart
"When the first attack happened, I was in my 40s, and because I was fit and had no family history of heart disease, my doctor told me it was a fluke. Eight years later, I had the second. After doing some research, my doctors and I were able to figure out that both heart attacks happened during very stressful periods. I did not have genetic or lifestyle risks, but in both cases there was a lot of work stress, as well as a lot going on with taking care of the kids." Heart disease is the leading killer of women in the US, and stress is a significant contributor.
Earlier this year, researchers at Johns Hopkins identified "broken heart" syndrome as a fairly common diagnosis: Stress chemicals literally stun the hearts—sometimes fatally—of those with no history or risk of heart disease. And people with elevated levels of a stress protein are seven times more likely to die within a month of their heart attack than those with lower levels, found researchers at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston.
Knew she was in trouble when "My cardiologist explained that my heart problems weren't part of a chronic condition. In my case—and in many cases—stress causes an acute event inside the arteries. I have to constantly monitor my stress level, the same way a diabetic has to watch her diet."
How stress fooled her Like many type A women, Farley imagined that because she had flexibility in her schedule, she had less stress. But a new analysis of the government's large-scale Framingham Offspring Study has shown that women who have a great deal of control over when, how, and what kind of work they do are 2.8 times more likely to develop heart disease than those who work at demanding jobs where they have little control. (Researchers aren't sure why. One possibility is that some women feel the stress of new demands associated with high prestige.)
What saved her "My friends. I couldn't do without my family, but somehow friends provide a whole different kind of support." Now she builds bonding time into her schedule: She walks and plays tennis with pals and calls an old college friend each week.
Why it works Researchers from Duke University followed 322 heart disease patients for 2 years. Those with stronger social supports felt less stressed and had better health outcomes than those with fewer pals.
Early warning signs "My last heart attack was 4 years ago, and I've gotten good about trotting myself over to the emergency room if I'm at all concerned. But I've also gotten more proactive about recognizing the signs of a stress buildup—I start to get twinges in my back that tell me it's time to relax."
Emergency stress Rx "If it doesn't have to get done today, I jettison it."
Serenity strategy "Relax. I'll sit down and read a newspaper or even do a crossword puzzle—something I hadn't done in a very long time."
Kathryn Petro Harper
42, married; academic coach, Santa Clara, CA
Stress problem: Major depression
About 12.4 million American women (double the number of men) suffer from depression, and of those, 6.7 million have major depression, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Research psychologists have found a direct chemical link between high levels of the damaging hormones produced by stress and depressive behavior in rats.
Knew she was in trouble when "In 1994, I was sexually assaulted by an acquaintance. I didn't get help or support—I just avoided men for several years. I functioned but felt like I was under water. Then, in 1997, I started graduate school, which was very stressful. I also started counseling, and although I gained some insights, I still felt numb all the time. In 1998, my beloved cat had to be put down, and that was the last straw. It was the darkest time of my life. I cried all the time. I felt hopeless. I had no energy."
How stress fooled her "Eventually, I saw a psychiatrist who helped me see that although my stress-triggered major depression—started by the attack, then made much worse when my cat died—was bad, I'd had a milder form of depression for years. But I'd ignored many of the classic symptoms, like fatigue."
What saved her Meditation and medication. Antidepressants helped get her head above water, and she continued with therapy. "I finally felt like I had an emotional skin," she says. But she wanted even greater control over the blues. When she heard about an informal class on seated Vipassana meditation, she took it. "I couldn't believe how much it helped. Meditation is so subtle and so powerful—it's not like there are any dramatic moments of enlightenment. But within a year of practicing, I was able to sit still, kind of turn off my brain, and detach from all the hubbub of my life. I'd say to myself afterward, Now what was I so upset about?"
Why it works Researchers at the University of California, San Diego, found that meditation put people with mood disorders in a better mental state and decreased their "ruminative" thinking—chewing the same downbeat thoughts over and over.
Early warning signs "Though I haven't had a major depression since 1998, stress can still set off a minor one. Feeling sad is fine, but when I start to feel numb, or like I can't take pleasure in all the little things, it's time to get serious."
Emergency stress Rx "I practice mindfulness as much as possible. When I do a task, I try to be completely present in it. When cooking, for instance, I notice the colors, textures, and scents, rather than thinking about the next chore."
Serenity strategy "I'm not shy about calling my doctor to change my medication levels if I need it. For example, my father-in-law was ill recently, so we made an adjustment. I also exercise regularly; it helps to make me tired, which makes me sleep better, which increases my energy."
