QuestionQUESTION: Hi there,
If anyone could help answer some questions I would really appreciate the help. I know my body is in need of a major makeover. Strange things have happened with my metabolism since my first child. I have only continued to gain weight even with breastfeeding. I've had traditional doctors tell me to put down the fork as if I've been hogging out. I have truly not changed any eating habbits but the gaining weight is still apparent. I have now had baby number two and the same pattern is happening. I weigh more now than during either pregnancy and I am breastfeeding again. I have been told that breastfeeding is supposed to help shed the pounds. I breastfed my first for just over a year and actually ended up weighing more at the end of the year than I did 9 months pregnant. I have not added food calories into my diet (in fact I sometimes feel I eat less) but I still seem to gain. I have put on a total of 60 pounds since my first child that has not shead at all. I feel really overweight.
After my first daughter I went to a natrualpath doctor as I thought maybe he would have a good nutritional suggestion as the regular doctors just kept making me feel like a pig. He told me I had a bad case of Candida and that I had a torn gut that there was evidence of food in my blood. He also said that the amount of fat in my blood was causing the blood to clump together. He said it was a sign of very high cholesterol. I actually watched this on his screen. It was sort of scary but I didn't like the suggestions of colonics and a very restrictive diet (especially as I like meat). So I have never gone back. Do I really have to do the colonics too? (yuck) I am thinking of maybe going back - I think I need to do something but I don't know what is safe while breastfeeding.
I have never gone on a cleansing diet before. I thought I should perhaps try this cleansing out but I am still breastfeeding my 3 month old baby. It's getting a little depressing watching the scale continually going up. I'd like to perhaps have more children but do not know how safe it is for me at this rate. After reading the comments about Candida I am wondering if my baby or other daughter have it too or are at risk. Maybe even my husband? How could I put a child on a restrictive diet plan like this and make sure she still gets her protein and calcium etc required to grow her bones and muscles properly. Please advise me and explain where I can find this diet plan. Is it safe for me or do I have to wait until baby number two is no longer breastfeeding? Is it safe for my baby? I don't want to make her sick. What about the rest of the family? Can a three year old go on a diet program like this and how? Please help...
ANSWER: Hi Cheryl,
You have had a fairly gruelling experience with the doctors, and above all, that naturopath! Are you sure he is not a scam-artist! Food in your blood?? I should hope so too: nutrients! But that is not a bean or a sunflower pip I presume! Blood "clumping" together would mean instant coronary arrest, so I doubt that is happening, since you just wrote this question! On the whole I can only say: what nonsense. I get what this nutritionalist might have been aiming at (lowered vitality, "impaired quality" of the blood, but this takes MUCH explaining, since it is an esoteric understanding - more later). First, listen very closely to the things you should stop worrying about.
Your kids are fine. At three years old NEVER put on a diet without extremely sound and convincing medical (hospital) advice based on expert tests and a full diagnosis of the condition. Just feed FRESH foods, wholefoods, and preferably home-cooked from basic ingredients (not processed/microwaved/ready-meals etc). Better nibble bits and pieces of "real" foods than "stuff" with junk. You will really be setting your children up with a fantastic head start if you nourish them naturally. Not least of all, because your HEART will so much more be involved with their diets.
Above all, bear in mind you have not been diagnosed with anything properly. Is is possible you have Candida, but this cannot explain such consistent incrementation of weight. Candida is a good sign to cut back drastically on processed foods, sugar and carbohydrates. NOT meat!
What you did not tell me is what weight you have come from. If you were a "girly" shape before the first pregnancy it can be very possible that by the second pregnancy you have gained a GREAT deal which you will NEVER shed entirely (in any healthy way). Even up to around 60 pounds is known to occur frequently without "pigging out". Now, before we try to assess how uncomfortable you feel, and why you feel uncomfortable (is it by comparison or are you losing ease of mobility/taxing your joints etc?) we must put first and foremost the priority of your LACTATION period. This is vital to the health (and happiness) of your new child. If you can give good breast feeding without phsycial pain, mental stress and much to the delight of your baby, you should be prepared to put EVERYTHING second to that for AT LEAST 6 months.
Personally, I think breastfeeding for much longer than that can give you too much of a "momsy" energy (has to do with etheric energy) and then you will tend to "expand" physically, in reflection thereof. The pre-Columbian Venus (mother) figurines (massive bust, huge thighs) point to this prehistoric-type enerygy of the ur-mother. Not unhealthy per-se, but not of this time, anymore.
While breastfeeding costs a lot of (calorific) energy it sets up a "matrix" for the "mother figure". My advice is based on Anthroposophic principles and child rearing along those lines is not in favour of extending breastfeeding TOO long, because we are not living in "the olden days" anymore (tribal times or starvation periods) and the child learns from the weening period to deal with its own individuality in the softest, gentlest, most protective way. Take care not to deprive it of this period and risk "over-bonding" (not healthy). By contrast, to show bonding is very important, though, staying at home with the baby till age 3 and then being very readily available for 5-7 years can never "spoil" the child. There is a trend that, in my opinion, can kid some mothers into breastfeeding the child into a more independent state - then they can "let go" without guilt. Some mothers cannot let go at all and secretly breastfeed for that reason. Most women breastfeed for that long because of unclear information. If your gut tells you you MUST then you must. But be careful with taking to trends.
Also, the learning and exploring a 9 month old can do with food is a treasure for life. To start this a "separation phase" (however mini it may be) must take place. Mind you, breastfeeding up to 6 months can be EXCLUSIVE (no additional food). This depends on how satisfied the baby remains on your breast milk alone, of course, and a good (naturopath like) clinic can help advise you there.
Back to your weight gain: I don't know how much time was between pregnancy one and two. It takes a minimum of 2 years to return to any type of you that you can feel comfortable with (generally still with a marginal weightgain, or at least, a different shape, like broader hips, bigger bosom). Seriously, the recuperation takes ALL of 2 years. If you fall pregnant before then, then, yes, you may encounter the problem of compounding new weight upon the old. The reason is also, largely, energetic, often combined with a kind of depression (however light, and more like a disgruntlement or an on-off sense of unfulfilment or occasional low self-esteem).
But now to the point of how bad or how "worse" your situation is. What is so very bad about this weight gain? It is obviously depressing, and that is very normal to feel that way. You have lost your old you! It's like a bereavement you never had time to work through. You have to be happy with and for your babies, and try to keep Mr Dad beaming too..! Where did YOU go in the meantime!? On top of that, everybody seems to know what is WRONG with you. How bad your diet is, or how insufficient your eating habits are, and you are even jeopardising your family, according to some advice
Well, it is time to rebalance the scales. Negativity could be your biggest burden at this point in time! It very quickly converts to a "down in the dump(ling)s" kind of a problem and starts to stick to you in fat deposits. The body works for 75% on an "sublime" energy system before it ever translates into anything physical. You have to also learn to "think thin".
We do not have to deny that your diet could do with some improvements, but I cannot tell for myself, because you did not mention anything about it. But we can already state that weight gain is not only about how much and what stuff you put into your mouth. For sure, health is promoted by healthy eating. Healthy food is per definition of GOOD quality, and HONEST. It has to RESONATE! But a meal is NOT a SUM! neither of calories or vitamins/minerals.
When we are told to watch our cholesterol levels it actually is nothing but a wake up call to JUST eat what you need and KNOW is good for you. If you have a "dirty" palet/taste buds, and are used to, let's say, eating burgers all day, you will hate a piece of good, clean, energy packed, grilled chicken. That is a crying shame. The blame lies not with the cholesterol intake, but with your crass palet and lack of finesse!
Kids will be picky, and love or hate one or more foods, but I promise you with a 100% guarantee, if you feed a "clean" person, young and innocent, ONLY good, honest, fair food, they will detest factory garbage when they grow up (even as kids already). The same goes for you, if you TRAIN your palet, your body, your subtle being (meaning your mind, attitude, sensitivities) to accept only goodness, you can never feel bad, or unhealthy or uncomfortable (unless an illness strikes, which can happen to anyone for non-food related reasons). You will feel healthy even if you are "technically" overweight. The secret to feeling good is, of course, feeling love - also for your food.
So, to conclude, try to think of your situation in a holistic way, which very much includes how you feel about food - not just yourself or your body. Look at the things you eat, as a mother/housewife you may even be in the "priviliged" position to select them carefully, lovingly, with the power to bring health to at least three others than yourself. This is a magnificent and beautiful role you have and you should cherish it. Also respect and even worship your amazing body (which bears and feeds children so wonderfully).
It may not sound as if this is going to tackle your weight problem directly, but you may be surprised as yet. Yes, you must keep a little tab for a while on calorie intake to make sure you are not sneaking in a bulking-up element (usually hidden sugar/fat in processed foods or used in preparation of meals). It remains important to eat regular, balanced meals (do not skip breakfast, and set out three clear portion sizes through out the day). Eat as varied as possible, alternating types and cuts of meat/poultry/fish/vegetarian substitues or pulses, to ensure you can't be overdoing it on one substance. Sometimes your body is programmed to store up on one type of foodstuff, but there is no point in cutting out all carbs or all fats! Just keep your body sorting out the differences each day - keep it busy, let it enjoy all the new incoming products. Quicken it's overall energy, which seems to have become sluggish lately - But, realise with loving kindness towards yourself, that this it HAD to do: and some mothers are just made the way (genetically/karmically) to have more of a "sedentary" energy about them, for their maternal nature to blossom best.
I suggest after 6 months breastfeeding you get down to a more hard core ME programme, including especially a focussed, dedicated, physical traing programme - by which I mean set sessions of Yoga, nature walks, regular housecleaning (dust pan and brush! Window washing) - think of meaningful if a touch old fashioned and laborious chores and of course intensified playing with the kids outdoors etc. Or cycling trips, or swimming would be fabulous. Or playing a sport once a week with a friend or a team. Such socialisation (still working on your body but with interaction) also tends to shake up the system in a pro-active manner which will lead to you refininding your (new but comfortable) shape and self.
Don't hesitate to ask then or now for any more advice on dietary plans. A short FAST (only after breastfeeding, and very moderate please) can help set you on the right track (three days of only fruit/veg juice, lemon water and herbal teas plus some body work, such as massage, shiatsu, crystal-reiki healing, chanting or anything of your own pick). The spring would be excellent for that. Colonic irrigation is not my thing really. Sometimes, for some medical conditions it is beneficial, but I have never encountered LASTING success stories with those who did it in combination with a slimming diet. It might be best, for now to celebrate your maternal expanse, the more you come to terms with it now, the more you can determine new terms later....
Be real and trust your finest maternal instincts, and anybody making you feel negative has no clue what blessings you have or feels too uncomfortable about themselves to acknowledge such positives.
I hope I have given you some counterweight and positive "food for thought" to all those unnecessary negatives.
Chin up and enjoy the beauty of life,
Love Evelyn
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Well I am 225 pounds now if that sheds light on the situation and I am only 5 ft 3. I was a little over weight before but now find myself shopping for 1X or 2X when I used to fit a 12 or even some items a 10. Yikes! I don't know if I can celebrate this motherly expanse. I also had a traditional doctor mention high cholesterol before I went to the naturalpath. Canadia seemed to be his explaination for all of it.
AnswerHi there again Cheryl,
You are indeed a lot overweight and I can understand that this is very uncomfortable for you. Candida and cholesterol are two separate issues, neither causing or influencing the other, but possibly they are indicators of a poor diet. Not that you can't gain many pounds on a totally organic vegetarian diet!
But here is the point I wanted you to try and come to terms with.
You are overweight for a reason.
Either you have been "self-indulging" which we have already established you have NOT.
Or you are suffering from an ailment or disease which is making you gain weight. However, if it is none of the above and you are sure you do not have a thyroid problem or diabetes, or a liver/and or digestive dysfunction then you have to take a whole new look at your lifestyle. This includes diet and exercise but ALSO attitude and UNDERSTANDING that you have to accept what you cannot change and MUST change what you can.
In practice this boils down to two things diet-wise.
Add up the calories you ingest and strive for around the 1800 mark.
Making sure at the same time that you eat the right proporitions (from the five categories) and get varied nutrients.
Needless to say opting for salads and wholewheat products, grilled meats, oily fish, and steamed vegetables, jacket potatoes, brown rice and being moderate with fats (cutting out all hydrogenated and saturated fats), eliminating nearly ALL white sugar, is going to make a massive difference to what you eat and the amount of calories.
I wish to focus, though on some much more valuable advice. You will have noticed I gave you no quick fix and no sure answers. This is in resonance with where you are at. You are right in the bud of motherhood. This determines who you need to be in your ROLE. In the meantime your HEART/soul needs to grow. If you don't focus on your heart your body will grow instead.
It is what I meant by how some trends trying to overcompensate for the difficulty ALL modern/western women have with motherhood. We have become so "unisexed" we almost feel ridiculous being mothers. When we become a mother we feel guilty for not being a more natural mother, and we buy into artificial motherhood-plans. Just figure this: breastfeeding is at present OVERLY promoted: this is ridiculous. It should be the most heartfelt thing a woman wants to do for her baby, NATURALLY and nobody should be telling her how and for how long outside objective (medical/spiritual) observations.
A great mother is a fine woman who becomes a better soul for having become a mother. This takes a lot. Sometimes drastic physical changes.
I sense it may for you become a hard task to learn to LIMIT your mothering duties. You have, of course, little else to go on but a sensitive, INTELLIGENT, natural feel. Don't lose yourself in motherhood, just because you can't find the woman you are. This woman is indeed not the same one as before you got pregnant. It takes a careful learning curve to get to know her....It takes longer for me to explain how her relationship with food can precisely help her.
To give you the bottom line of your problem here, outside further medical matters you may want to look into with some bloodtests at a hospital, you need to "get a grip" on yourself. Find that which "tucks you back" into your own "limits"/shape. This is super hard as a mother of two small children and you need to mother yourself through this process, too. Just like you feed up your babies to be strong, independent, shining individuals, you need to do the same for yourself. Maybe, nobody else much will be able to help you with this at first. But there is support out there - hence my advice to find some you-time and get active, somewhere around early spring.
Your challenge is extremely difficult. I for one am rooting for you all the way and you will not leave my thoughts. Be sensible about your situation, assess what you can do right now, and what you cannot expect to do. Be realistic, however painful it may be for a while (excruciatingly perhaps!); learn to accept what is, BUT DO WHAT YOU CAN, however little, in the meantime to effect positive change. Those tiny adjustments will accumulate into hard and fast results in the long term. I know right now, such a long-term prospect does not sound very encouraging. But if you don't start today with knowing what you need to learn or do then that period will never even start.
You can always contact me for more advice on a suitable diet if you so wish.
I so hope you can try to enjoy your motherhood, notwithstanding. I think your babies are very lucky with you. A happy mother is such a rare gift in this day and age, and you are trying to make a change for yourself which will also show them a truer meaning of life.
Do not hesitate to put anymore thoughts to me if you think it may help.
Love Evelyn
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