QuestionDear Eveyln,
Thanks for your detailed reply.
Your question whether inedia would make me less present in this life is a good one. "Your I needs to wake up and start believing in life." I hear you, thanks. I wonder, is it possible to incarnate more at this rather late date? I'm uncertain, but I'll make the attempt to come in deeper. Thanks for the help you give and the pointers. If you want to give more links, they are welcome, but what you have already given should be plenty. I'll not spend more time researching breatharians just now; I'll trying to focus on my senses and the great beingness. :-) Your comments echo those of my massage therapist, and doubtless my current physician would concur, as she has never responded with interest to my queries on this subject.
I read differently than you some of the information about living on light. Werner wrote that since the 1980s, the possibility of living on light has become available to all. He does not claim that it will make everyone well. He makes clear that one does not become enlightened in the process, and that it is socially difficult.
At the same time, one of your questions is exactly my question; can ALL bodies really do this? I fully trust Werner's intent and I trust the anthrop physician who floated the possibility to me. (He doctored me in a two-week health retreat. He works 2000 miles away from my residence and will advise me more only if I again travel there.) I have a sense that my body has more road blocks than Werner's. I don't seem to absorb light nor make vitamin D that well, for example.
I believe that the other well-known breatharian anthroposophist -- your Judith, probably -- says that her health is not much changed since she stopped eating. Given my body's history and my age, I would not go in expecting to get well. What does interest me: my son and a few people I care for might come to know I didn't eat, and it might help balance materialism for them. Moreover, there is a tipping point in animals and I suspect in people; once a certain number learn to do something, suddenly they all can do it. I would like to be helpful toward increasing possibilities (I'm a teacher, laugh). This mild form of cooperation is my most comfortable view toward my possible participation in living on light.
I did also look at web videos of some other breatharians.
Since your reply, I have pretty much stopped eating the frozen meat, which I buy for my cats but eat too. Temptation! I liked raw meat as a child. In the last two years I began eating raw meat again and stopped grains, on the suggestion that this diet would help dental health. It did help my jaw get better, though not completely well. (In case of interest, the speaker's book (I did not read it) is Cure Tooth Decay: Heal and Prevent Cavities with Nutrition, 2nd Edition by Ramiel Nagel and Timothy Gallagher. I wonder if his diet works primarily for blood type O, who supposely don't do well with grains.) Sally Fallon, in Nourishing Traditions, suggests that raw meat can safely be eaten if it is frozen 14 days (p.231). I feel like the sauerkraut (usually homemade) is good for me -- I like it! I might get a half cup three times a week if I'm lucky. I take some sea weed (Eden arame) too, and hope it is not radioactive.
I love vegetables. I used grains mostly for conventionality, cheapness, and ease; grains store well.
I have generally failed to worship the God Force when partaking of food. What a lovely picture you give. I've been looking at food materially. I think I have my work cut out for me . . .
If you think if would be helpful to have some of this reply in the public side, I am glad to resubmit those parts.
Thanks and blessings,
Susan
AnswerDear Susan,
Thank you so much for letting me know how you've been getting on. I have frequently been thinking about you since my reply and wondering what you could make of it and where it might have lead you.
As you suggest the option, yourself, I will make your comment to my reply public, since it may help to inform another persons in their individual research.
Individual is, however, the key word here. Perhaps, inedia can best be regarded as one modern path of initiation suitable for a small minority of souls. It tends to be a solitary path; and with this comes the lonely trial and error. This creates the harsh reality that some individuals do not make it on a light-diet for no clear reasons. But they seem to literally starve or deprive themselves to death.
Inedia might well be the future, and those who take the first steps in it may be standing right at the avant-garde! Who knows? Probably, as with all life's major riddles, nobody really. I can only add my queries to the debate, while I represent a cautionary voice.
Above all, I think it is appropriate to ask serious, scientific questions, and get complete and satisfactory answers before we consider inedia a remedy, a life-style, or an addition to esoteric initiation. Can there be something misleading about inedia? A physician must ask HOW can it work without causing malfunctions, deteriorations, and diminished life-expectancy. A metaphysical philosopher must ask whether it fits into a holistic (let alone Anthroposophical) approach. Considering the little harm it causes others, the individual seems free to do as they please, even if there are no health guarantees, or even if it defies common sense. However, is the community at all served by inedia? And does the community have a responsibility to gather back into their midst such 搘ild-roaming?sheep? Can they succeed with inedia as the new clothing of this member of the flock?
For people like you and me, a thorough scientific research on this topic must include alternative and esoteric scientific principles or working premises. But Anthroposophy will still demand to have old-school medical researchers on board, including bio-chemists and neuro-scientists.
It has been a while since I read Werner's book, and since I do not own a copy, I cannot refresh my memory or quote directly, but claims of feeding off light will never sound right to an Anthroposophic ear; which may explain the reserved debate at the Goetheanum. I reckon that this term of light is more a Jasmuheen word, modernised or New-Ageified from the Vedic 揚rana?
In principle, there is nothing wrong with a word which conjures up several vibrant, divine and etheric connotations, but it could prove misleading. Light or breath as it is currently interchangeably used may actually be the least accurate term to use! Light is the etheric force which creates the element air. We must not confuse the 損rana? or breath/air of inedia with the actual element. This will be crucial to bear in mind at all times, when we go into some of your concrete concerns. We must be mindful to know the difference between the four elements and the four ethers, and then remind ourselves of a fifth, quintessence.
Individually, the ethers are active in the physical, creating the four elements. Together they are the carriers of life. The Quintessence which could sustain the fully transsubstantiated ether body, or eternal I, would be something altogether man-made. Again, interestingly, the unlearned Jericho Sunfire comes closest to hitting this nail on the head intuitively. He reminds us that he lives off his own physicality; it is a special (quintessential?) force which enables him to do this.
It is utterly impossible that light nourishes you. The organs of the body are physical and designed to work with protein processes, light cannot effect. Remember, you are not a plant! Something else must be going on, not yet biologically explicable.
Modern science is also not entirely mystified, yet, by claims of inedia. That is not to say it is buying it. Although, beyond a shadow of a doubt, extremely little is ever taken in by the 揷andidates? their claims that it is possible to live 100% nihil by mouth have yet to be proven. Nobody can testify that this can be maintained for an extended period of time, say beyond the absolute hunger-strike margin of three months. Indeed, mistrust still prevails: so far there has always been evidence or strong suggestion that something is ingested during extended periods (even if it is a miniscule amount or a one-off). The point being: there has to be greater accuracy to any and all claims and testimonies for there to be any science and subsequent interpretation to otherwise highly personal, variable, and private experiments. A physician, by oath and law alone, has to remain mindful of this, at all times, in all instances, if he is to advise someone else within his function of medical practitioner.
Even if we want to forget about eating, we need to remember why we eat. All that we do not eat we have to handle with a different 搊rgan?(outside our metabolic-nerve system). Perhaps we find the seat of this new organ in Middle man, inspired by the respiratory/circulatory region. But it is not sufficient to believe that we can elevate the role of the lungs and physical heart into a refined system that breathes and pulsates to sustain us without food. We must learn more about this new organ, or organisation rather, which is the transformed-body. Life is all about learning to transform this body.
We need the relationship to otherness to find our Self. The savannah paints this picture beautifully with the preditor alongside the prey, in the tall grass, beneath the leaves there to be nibbled. Eating is relating. Almost a giant, irreversible hug, if you think about the snake and its rat. An all absorbing encounter where one consumes the other to assimilate that otherness (in the case of a snake's diet, a metabolic pole predominance consumes a nerve pole emphasis, i.e rodent). There is no (physical) exchange,just taking: the primal deed to establish I. Without taking we have nothing to give, because only what we take in excess of what I am is not I and there to give. You can't give yourself away, you can only give from the Self. This give and take is a play of sympathy and antipathy. The pendulum motion between this yin-yang, or light-darkness defines the soul. We eat to save our soul! Maybe, eating or not-eating is on the same coin (of life experience). It still is about eating, as long as there is food to be eaten with a system designed for eating. Eating helps us work out such givens and the meaning therein, in the most simple way. A child can do it!
To eat is to serve or educate the soul. It requires respect for the product and this can be gained by studying the entire making-of and preparing-of. Hence eating, farming, harvesting, dining, feasting, fasting, entire economies have always been interlinked with religion, or some ethical belief system to regulate and give meaning to food and eating.
According to Anthroposophy, the story about Adam and Eve exiled to work hard for their living, leaving the paradisiacal garden with fruits for grabs, illustrates the transition from etheric-body existence to physical body existence, post Lemurian age. With the first Incarnate Man we make a transition from eternity (and floating about as God's pets) to life, self-rule, (pain, agony) death, reincarnation, and the option to eternal life. The pangs of birth remind us of the hardness of life, a reality we had better embrace. Also for the new-born, life initially seems somewhat hellish: think of the near strangulation through the birth-canal and the harsh entrance into a cold, glaring, loud world (compared to the womb). Even a caesarian or a pool-birth cannot take this ultimate reality away (merely procrastinate it and obfusicate a new reality).
The problems or efforts that come with our diet offer a daily rebirth. You must not think of inedia as a diet that takes something away from you (the hassle of food, the toxins, the decadence and ruin ?to turn away from this is nice work if you can get it, but life must go on for us eaters and we won't appreciate your efforts as personally beneficial to us).
Inedia adds another ?solar ?emphasis. With this must come, if not straight away, then post-life, a tremendous accountability. Touched by 搇ight? how now? Will you belong to a new order? A new class of human beings?
Obviously, you have to be single minded in your inedia, because all thoughts influence the system. It could jolt the system into old expectations and then it would find itself running on empty and fall into starvation mode. This is why true inedia is a die-hard faith in the self to the exclusion of all externals (including viruses etc). Is this a new form of selflessness or selfishness?
In any case, I would expect to see in all inedians a permanent glint of ferocity in their eye. It takes a special kind of intent. Yes, they may have found a new peace, after a while, but this peace is not lovey-dovey, or hippy-flower power. Heavenly peace is an ongoing balancing act, seemingly effortless (serene) but that is just impeccability. No margin for error in inedia!
You must expect the question, what is it all for? What more can we do with a special 搊rgan?that enables life without food? In this Era, on this Planet, at this stage of our development in 21st Century? Clearly, there can be no valid spiritual standpoint in believing we must ignore our given physical state. It would be plain sadism to the rest of us, to give us digestive systems and then expect us not to eat. To make the pregnant woman ravenous so that she can give the child materials for a belly, a liver, a tongue; to programme the baby to wail in hunger; to give the teen his cravings to wrestle with, a palate to refine; and then to sit back and wait for the adult to smell the coffee of this cunningly crafted route of temptation and watch 99% of them fail to 搆ick the habit?of food....
Yes, the purpose of life is to become more spiritual, but we need to tend to earthly affairs in order to become so. From alchemical, hermetic, cabbalistic, and Rosicrucian teachings we learn how it is mainly about a 搒tripping?or purification process (transubstantialisation), which works quite methodically, step by step, one day at a time. Life has to be lived! Albeit it extremely consciously, responsibly and in rememberance of who we are to become.
In some cases inedia was a necessary last resort for those who had no choice left, slowly having been pushed into this direction, probably karmically and by their entire life. A blessing, perhaps! But I am reminded of the remote hamlet Zanskar, totally pittoresque, pure, lovely, in the Himalays, but which is separated from the rest of the world (medics, family, markets etc) by a wide, raging river, over which no bridge has been built (yet). Only in winter, when it freezes up, can they hope to leave their isolation and reach others.
Once your I-organisation has become fully realised as an independent, individualised entitiy, or etherised, and an eternal, resurrection body after death, reincarnation will no longer be required. You are more or less 揺nlightened?in the literal sense of being free of weight and gravity. I don't know if an I-body is thus prepared by inedia, but if it would be then there might be a long wait for you until the rest of us joins you. The date set for collective transition from an earth, physical life to an etheric life (on New Jupiter) is 7893 AD, or so.
I surmise, however, that it is more likely that inedia is but a life-time experience, perhaps a wake-up call, or a pause; who knows. But I sense this option is made available as a very individual healing process. Not as an example to the rest of the world. Such collective pro-active, fervently creative, positive but stern currents or movements are not likely to take off, at all, till the Age of Aquarius, around 3573 AD.
At present, it is (to quote Steiner) 搕hrough our earthly morality we take a creative part in the whole cosmic order.?Is not-to-eat (non-eating) the highest moral truth (or art of non-doing)? For most of us, it is clearly, rather, time to focus on an 8-fold path of right doing. Right farming (dynamically!) and Right production, Right labour, Right (healthy/sensible or honestly informed) choices.
Let's not forget, also, to celebrate how right we can be in a new freedom, unprecedented on this planet: a freedom to make choices! This freedom is not so widely available however, so we must treasure the opportunities to be free of tradition, organised religion, tribal allocation, handicaps, discrimination etc. The cosmos needs, to be sure, a large group of souls giving thanks for Gaia's bounty and beauty. We have been given senses to do this. It is for this reason you may expect to come across negative reactions to inedia. People may find it pretentious, arrogant, and deluded, or obscene even.
In researching all these aforementioned things, we must paint it out slowly, layer by layer. We must always take care not to dip the same paint brush into different pots of paint, without rinsing it thoroughly. It will make for a muddy mess, and you lose clarity and purity. In a future society where strong, self-motivated individuals build up a community, 搕ipping points?fall away. A sense of community cannot be sustained on tipping points. The Consciousness Souls that build up such a new society must be very carefully self-impelled through the reality of personal karma and potential.
You see, we are not at all like animals, when it comes to these progressive considerations. We are not meant to be loners or solitary, but we do not really learn from eachother much with regard to spiritual development. The individual path is a lonely one, and each will be different.
Neither, do we evolve on good habits alone. Indeed, an infectious idea or positive example beyond the art of nurture is actually Ahrimanic. It works on the principle of copying and indoctrination of the most subtle kind. A great danger resides in this, and it is why some things must stay occult to some extent. Through study and examination we can gradually uncover truths for ourselves through experience.
Trends and shining role models can serve us in good stead, but inedia is not about this, I don't think. It would make a crooked path with pernicious pitfalls. You speak of cooperation and participation, which are beautiful words, but if they aim for a difference there may lurk arrogance in them, yet. I don't mean to discourage you from trying to effect positive change; I merely mean to underscore the fact that man does not learn by example, but by error.
Transformation is the only type of positive, progressive change. It implies a self-motivated dynamic, and indicates a meeting of cosmic laws with physical ones. There have to be favourable conditions for transformation: in other words it has to be POSSIBLE. It also requires readiness, which thorough self-knowledge determines.
It is never to late for anything you really need to do; nor are we ever old enough to be finished with learning. Never give up, and never become despondent, and never let your shadow point the way. Face the sun! Indeed, self-knowledge comes mainly with age, when the shadow boxing falls away. I have personally known quite a few people who only in their seventies came into their own, become more honest about themselves, have understood their life-mission at last, and took action accordingly, or embarked upon entirely new paths.
I would argue that the considerations I have put down above must come into play if we are to modernise medicine. Once upon a time the barber, the dentist, and the surgeon were one and the same 損rofession? Now we have split health care into tiny specialist compartments. There is a growing trend to fuse disciplines into new general fields or establish greater cooperation between medicine and ethics or moral-social hygiene, but in the future these aspects have to become a lot more integrated, while at the same time we must become more specialised in the super- and sub-natural.
One crucial aspect of this modernisation is the responsibility the patient must take for herself. In the end she is always her own doctor: only she can administer to the disease or disorder within. Only she gets the medication to the right spot; only she can follow a cure or regimen.
It is actually quite ludicrous how we have come to accept how a physician tells you that they can treat your disease. Excuse me, but this is MY illness, and only my body-mind-soul can treat it. Thank you for helping to administer (by injection, or prescription) or cut out something for me (surgery); but for the rest the care of a body/mind compares to gardening. The gardener tends to plants and seeds: but can do no growing or developing directly. He enables, by creating favourable conditions or extirpating smothering weeds. The plant itself does all the growing ?or withering. Likewise with any health issue. The soul must be well tended for health. An illness indicates a weakness or excess of soul.
No doctor can make me better. I am as 搘ell?as my soul is alright (good). Only I can rebalance myself. A doctor, at most, can point out and help me feel what kind of imbalance there is. But the adjustment must still be IN ACCORD with my OWN capacity to balance. Perfect health as such is not the aim. One's physical condition must be manageable (possible to bear). Diet is one method of daily rebalancing. It is offered as an exercise. A kind of yoga.
The trouble you often find with this practice, which becomes boring all too soon, is a tendency to spice it up with fun, or outrageous challenges; or it is taken too casually, or too austerely. For many who are attracted to inedia this is also the case. It is different for you, since another person alerted you to this option. This makes for a fascinating instance, not without several questions about this practitioner. I wonder how he is involved with inedia. Maybe, he counsels many, but his role in your health care, particularly, is somewhat objectionable for the extreme distance between you. He would not be able to support you on a regular basis?unless you decide to take up residence at his clinic (?) or move to be nearer.
Just to help you rethink one of your objections and perhaps come up with a firmer counter-indication for trying inedia, the following.
From the inedian perspective you cannot have any physical 搑oad blocks?preventing successful inedia; paradoxically, the inedia is only possible by working on a different by-pass system where no physical roads (of a nutritional nature) exist, so no blocks can stand. Inedia ignores the body's nutritional conventional needs or metabolic inadequacies (old mind patterns or body memories).
Where you do not have a sufficiently breatharian mind-set, you create your own road blocks. The inedia cannot remove them, and so the catch 22 continues...! One may need to have a particular organisation-body relationship, with bodies intergrated different to the norm for this spontaneous readiness to (gradually!) become indedian. We simply do not know enough about inedia to say anything sensible about this. In the mean time realise, that these blocks are, also, there for a spiritual reason, after all. They indicate issues on a soul-spirit level, inedia may not address (simply by-pass). Then inedia would only stretch karma into the next life. Who knows?
It is very tricky not to confuse physical givens with spiritual knowledge. But I think it is safe to say that bloodtypes and vitamin absoption does not come into play with inedia. I don't see how it could. It is not a diet that works, at all, on a physical level. Vitamins are compounds the human body cannot ever produce by itself and needs to take in through diet; we all know about vitamin B12 or Omega 3 deficiencies, which are only available in specific foods. How truly detrimental to health such deficiencies are has yet to be concluded more accurately. There may be some people who cope ok without B12, but this would be news to science. In any case, you will be deficient of all vitamins on a light diet. Vitamin D is perhaps th least of your worries: even with poor absorption capacity, you at least stand a chance of getting some D if you sit in the midday sun for a few hours (true, not ideal with regards to the scare of skin cancer). But I'd worry more about the other vitamins you will not be able to take in through the skin. Can all vitamins (etheric life-sustenance) be taken in on 搇ight?or 揵reath? with a newly fortified or enhanced ether body?
In the mean time we can take your problem with vitamin D absorption apart, and take it as an interesting characteristic of a deeper underlying problem. Vitamin D is a consolidation of formative earth-ether. As an ur-phenomenon, or life force permeates a substance it makes a vitamin. In the case of D it is takes holds of the lipoids From the good sources we can sense a bit its creative quality (salmon, sardines, shrimp, goat's milk, butter, shiitake mushrooms, and eggs). D enhances calcium absorption, further illustrating its correlation with form and boundary setting.
If we see how light does not feed the inedian, and accept, naturally, light deprivation will make the inedian as sick as the next person, we better see how inedia works on spiritual principles alone: it should be possible to do it in a cave for a long while (if we are to believe old legends, myths, Buddhist examples etc.). The 搇ight?you feed on would work like homeopatic triturations, more like imprintations on the subtle bodies with life-codes, intangibly and alchemically, invisibly, which cannot ever be explained by means of physical, scientific laws.
The other subject you raised on dental care and raw meat will keep me busy for a bit longer, yet.
I found it most interesting to read about your (to me) novel approach to preventing tooth decay. But I must confess it sounded incredible, although I know raw-meat eaters go very far to promote supposed prehistoric diets ?inspite the presence of our many molars! I can do very little with it intuitively, but I find it most intriguing how you also bring bloodtypes into play.
Altogether too little is known about blood types and I feel Anthroposophy ought to have something to add, but I have not come across any useful sources so far. I ask myself, why is there such a limited and small amount of types? Why do they appear so random across all races? Why is there such an obscure variation, at all?
I have yet to discover how a blood type relates to health or disease in one way or another. Anthroposophy is very interested in blood, as the carrier of the I-organisation ?but this we cannot take too physically, either. The physical reflects a higher reality in special patterns, or choreographies, even. Thank you very much for giving me something new to chew on.
On the subject of teeth and jaws much more has been said by Anthroposophical medicine. Very interesting morphological observations have been made. The entire jaw-organisation mirrors and corrsponds to our whole body in a fascinating way.
As regards dental decay, there is much controversy on the role fluoride has to play and alternatives are looked into by all forms of complementary medicine. Vedic and Anthroposophic convene most closely on the subject.
Also conventional medicine will agree that chewing is the crux to dental care. It stimulates bloodflow which feeds roots and keeps gums active in their protective role. Most significant in the battle against caries, is the stimulation of saliva which attacks plaque.
By keeping the mouth alkaline, which salt and bi-carb or chalk, for example, does brilliantly, without the detrimental effects of the acids in alkaline fruits (say apple, or lemon which is also cleansing, but bites into the enamel) you create an unfavourable environment for caries causing bacteria (nothing left to eat for them). Fluoride is said to strengthen enamel, but it has negative properties, seen holistically (too hardening) and is toxic (otherwise the other metals in your average toothpaste more so). More importantly is the brushing action that dislodges the critters.
So, also in the health care of our mouth we come to find bridges between inner and outer. The actions of chewing, eating, speaking build up a healthy mouth, reflecting your state of soul, or your inner being. Bacteria come to challenge that state and test how robust you are to outside or foreign influence. This is related to water and earth elementals and their dynamic influence upon our being. The relationship with these living beings inform us about who we are, or are not, yet. A state of un-wellness or dis-ease lies everywhere constantly: this enables the very balancing act of health.
By the by, it seems to me that some cases suggest that inedia might mean the end of your teeth. Their function, technically, will have been severely reduced. But cosmically they still have their place. But as very physical elements of our being they can mainly speak to us through functions. It will largely depend on your physical health whether you will lose them or not. It would be the transitional period which would tax them the most. It then becomes another question whether dentures or implants would fit the inedia objective.....
To my knowledge, meat, let alone raw, is not known to be ideal for the health of anything much, let alone our mouth which is very sensitive to infection (as the gateway to more vulnerabe innards). The deep freeze might have numbed a few bacteria, but in the mouth and gut many come back to life. These bacteria are actually considered detrimental to health, and only very robust physiques can overcome them. It is why we thoroughly cook meat for the infirm and elderly, in stews and soups, over-cooking to only retain the basic proteins.
Would there be an alternative to raw meat? Or is it specifically raw meat that inspired you to chew attentively? Perhaps, chewing gum with chlorophyl and xylitol (used specifically against tooth decay)? But it would make much more holistic sense to try apples, coconut chunks, nuts, carrots or raw cabbage (or sauerkraut). A true inedian would not resort to the solution of gum, even: it still pertains to the world of eating.
This consideration, however, should raise the technical biological question: is inedia about not eating, or the abstinence of all foreign products to sustain human health? Excluding medicines, too. Jericho Sunfire takes a very ideological view and feels it is important to reduce the consumption of all animal/plant materials to the absolute bare minimum (he hardly owns anything, wears little). Werner takes the more relaxed approach, where he might even drink the occasional glass of wine, and slice of cake and runs a normal household, and has a non-inedian family.
It becomes tricky to know what is healthy about inedia, when we realise how not eating can border on a neurotic disorder. Anorexics or bulemics have not 揺aten?if they regurgetate; but for the inedian this 揷ancellation?of the actual absorption process is diseased. Then again, where does eating begin or end? In inedia we cancel out appetite, perhaps, satisfying any instinctive desire by the scent or colour of food, alone.
When it comes to the resolve of the I, there is a fine line between the inedian and the IRA hunger-striker, the anorexic teen, the rebellious two-year old, or the Bahrein human rights activist. In each case the I-body is hard at work to make itself stand upright in a self-belief. Inedia is not quite a refusal to eat, but it is still about not wanting to eat. The need to do so is negated. Inedia, too, is some kind of protest to what we currently are. Protest is a negative, by definition (against something). I am not sure how much Inedia can ever be claimed to be a positive, pro-active step beyond the parameters of an individual manifesto.
I encourage you to keep working on a diet that makes holistic sense to you. Keep looking into your particular dietary quirks and try to get to the bottom of them. What do they indicate? What do they tell you about the state of your soul?
You might be trying to say something to yourself with the raw meat, and you may not have been listening very closely for many, many years. Maybe, this is your core karmic lesson: to listen and really hear yourself and nothing but yourself. It is the hardest lesson of all!
Perhaps, going back to those meat days might give up a clue, perhaps. A child would never reach for raw meat unless they were missing a 搑aw ingredient?or had an astral-I insufficiency. I myself went through a period of craving liver (cooked!). This was during my mother's pregnancy (with my sister). My mother did not eat liver, so it was a quirky desire of mine. Liver is rich in iron, and iron is an incarnational metal. I may have tried to anchor myself more firmly (age 5) for my sister's arrival, intuiting her reluctance for this incarnation (she still struggles with this life enormously).
I continue to laud your inquiries, and would love to remain informed of your self-development. Perhaps, you may stumble upon another question or observation you would like to share with me and I will hear from you again.
Keep listening to other people's stories for inspiration, but select carefully the bits that intrigue you the most. These bits may even be incomprehensible or annoying, at times! Treasure these the best!
Be generous towards yourself! Enjoy the sweet things in life. Never stop searching for things you can enjoy sweetly (they tend to come for free, besides!). This makes swallowing the necessary bitter pills more graceful.
Love, Evelyn
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