QuestionDear Evelyn,
I have studied Anthroposophy. I greatly respect Steiner and think his ideas have only begun to be understood. I currently suffer skin problems with parasites, internal and external, brain fog confusion and exhaustion. Joint pain with hard accumulations there. I do not know if it is a long term Lyme condition. I had a bite years ago tested negative. My symptoms are like those diagnosed with chronic Lyme. I have many lesions especially on scalp that follow previous chicken pox lesions. I have become gradually bald in those spots, but recently 3- 4 months, began treating with topical things like H202, borax, olive, coconut, essential oils and massage and the hair is regrowing there. In the areas of the lesions the hair has broken off leaving about 3/4 inch of growth. This is primarily on top and one the left side of my head, perhaps similar to scalp shingles. Under the scalp and along my temples and forehead were many tube like ropes connecting the lesions one to another. My scalp head felt like bubble wrap. The lesions are very hard like rock hard, but have soften and decreased a lot since I began treating 4 months ago. I also take baths in various substances, Epsom, baking soda, borax etc. They do soothe me a lot.
My primary line of defense though is constant prayer. I like what you said to another questioner, that the illness helps us "discover what is temporary and worthless and what is everlasting and precious" I completely feel that my current condition which is not good at all has led me to higher consciousness. I completely see that this world is broken and failed and my focus needs to remain on a higher level. I have never been in a better place spiritually. I am ready at any time for the angel to come touch me on the elbow and say come now. But my family needs me. I have many things to repair and clean for them, to help them. I have paintings to paint which I really want to do. My paintings bring great joy to others, but I did not pursue it sooner. I put it off. With whatever time I have left here I want to not be a burden to others. If I could regain some strength and dispel even some of the disease occupying my body I would be so happy.
I have recently changed my diet to no carbs, high fat and protein. Began eating meat again, although it breaks my heart. I do not want to eat our fellow creatures, but yesterday I realized that I am partly animal and animals eat other animals to live, so for now I am letting myself eat without judging it too much. I eat soft boiled eggs, chicken, last night had steak. I also eat fruits and vegetables. What would anthroposophy say about such symptoms? They are very present and thousands are suffering this. The regular MD's are not able to help much. Yet the Lyme Literate Doctors, LLD's they call themselves, are making a big profit on these chronically ill patients, who do not get well, but keep paying. One LLD doctor charges $1,250 per hour.
I hope I have asked a coherent question. This disorder leaves one depleted at many levels. I appreciate your answers to people, so full of compassion and reflection.
My question is how does Anthroposophy view these types of illness? And of course what would Anthroposophy recommend?
All the best to you.
AnswerDear FIGYS,
I read your question with great interest and could sympathise deeply with the serious extent of your suffering. However, you wondered whether you had asked a coherent question, and in spite of all the coherence there is not really a question in your Question. Let me explain how you are actually, already, giving yourself an answer.
I read between the lines that you are on the border of a very desolate landscape. A wasteland stretches before you, in unwelcoming tones of oppressive indigo. This is as much as to say, that your consciousness soul has the potential to expand and embrace a new reality. This is a very, very tall order; and the best advice that I can give you is to take it very slowly and never forget to breathe calmly. I will develop this for you a bit more.
The less conventional doctors will be able to find wrong with you the more deeply you will have to enter this land of suffering. That is the bad news. But where there is a spiritual challenge - and you have already felt this very accurately - there is great consolation and mercy. That is the good news. In the middle is the most important news: here your Shadow lurks and here the Asuras love to sow their seeds of doubt and despondency. This is where the battle and the healing begins. The hardest if not almost impossible aspect about this is how we expect ourselves to enter this field alone. If little else, I hope to spiritually support you and remind you that you are not alone even though you must take every step for and by yourself. There are many others taking the same steps as you right now. We must learn to listen out for the tread of such brave feet and become encouraged by their rhythm.
There is seldom any coincidence with the questions I receive, so it does not surprise me that I have only very recently come across an interesting communication with reference to Lyme disease. Since you have indicated that you are familiar with Anthroposophy, and show an interest to keep on researching I will share this with you, but I must forewarn you that it takes spiritual science to the next level. The communication, namely, was between an anthroposophically inspired medium and the Guardian Angel of the tics. Yes, even insects have a degree of consciousness, albeit in a very collective (obviously non-self-aware) sense. This angel could communicate the purpose of tics, and parasites in general. I learned that they serve Ahriman in a specific way.
Now, we must not panic at the word Ahriman; Anthroposophy is very clear that we also need to work with Ahriman and Lucifer. (It is the Asuras we can do without. And we must be on guard for the encroaching destructive force of Sorat.) For example, we owe the printing press to Ahriman: in its repetitive, reproductive signature there is no mistaking it. Sure enough, pulp fiction and the plethora of flyers remind us of this. But we wouldn't have Keats or Emerson in our midst without it either. And you and I would have never met without the invention of type!
What happens with a tick bite is interesting. Tics like the way we smell when we fail to etherise our blood. In short, they like our materialistic side. Every single drop of our blood is special for in each there is a part of our I body. Bood is the vehicle for the Ego. When a drop is segregated and taken out of our I organisation Ahriman can get a grip on it and put it, as it were, under his microscope to analyse the nature of our I body. This helps him write programs of sclerosis, refrigeration, paralysis and fear-based attack on our spirit self. He works in part individually, but mainly observes us in groups. The more we attach value to blood-bonds (genetics, traditional families) the more he can keep us in his power ?because our blood is no longer a safe-house after thousands of centuries of Ahrimanic analysis. No wonder we are a little creeped out by bugs that bite. But they don't mean to make us ill or kill us, per-se. Let's not get too spooked!
The Borrelia bacteria which they carry seems to have nothing to do with them. A different angel probably needs to be consulted ? I still need to study bacteria and viruses better from an anthroposophical angle, so I can't go into this much more, right now. But we can stay in this hardening, Ahrimanic corner and observe how even if you do not have Lyme you still were bitten. It may be interesting to consider whether if you removed the tick and disposed of her before she laid eggs whether this would have spoiled an Ahrimanic research project? Or you could consider how you can "purifiy" your blood spiritually to stay out of harms reach personally. It is time to take up arms against Oppositional Forces and not let them bully us so.
I may have misinterpreted your wording, for it is not quite clear to me why you precisely feel that your illness is almost life-threatening, but I can imagine that, after a while, your condition is simply exhausting and demoralising. Chronic pain can lead to depression, and if we look at depression more closely we have to observe that it is actually a desire to escape gravity. The only way out of depression is to go through it. We are taught to believe in self-empowerment, but this often overreaches the actual dynamics at work. We think it is all about lifting something which oppresses us off us, but we are now in the Indigo age and we just have to go through it, there is no escaping it or lightening up of it. It is a fairly earnest and sober time. This is what the consciousness soul requires. We will never mature unless we manage to bear the burden of the cross, and even undergo an actual crucifixion. These are big words to use but deep contemplation and a living imagination should lends these words significance for an Anthroposophist. I hasten to add few dare to do this.
I am personally very frustrated with these so-called Lyme literate doctors. I am familiar with them from raw food circles, which is all far too hyped up for my liking. The fees they charge are exorbitant and Luciferic, and completely ego flattering. That will never serve our purposes and cannot really cure the underlying cause of Lyme. The raw food guru David Wolfe has said a lot about how to treat Lyme, and some of his medications may be interesting , but I do not like the scaremongering at the same time. Also there is way too much emphasis on prevention, paying into the illusion of immunity and invincibility. Quite arrogan, if you ask me. I am convinced that half the cure to anything is being a lot less scared and panicky than we all collectively are.
The fibrous papules you describe on your scalp can probably only be accurately diagnosed by a dermatologist. They could be trichoepitheliomas, which develop out of follicles; or otherwise they could be running along sweat glands. In either case, this would indicate an ebbulient life force, since the talc, hair and sweat glands belong to the ether body, which produces secretions. This body determines the outer limits in the skin, which the etheric cannot wait to break through!
When we are not comfortable in our skin, or feel trapped inside it, as if in a uniform, we develop skin conditions. It is the inner you banging on the door trying to get out. The hesitation you have had regards your painting indicates that you are not so sure how to express the real I. In order to give out we first need to receive. It cannot only be from heaven above, anymore. We must find donors in our very own midst. If everything is only about service to others, but they do not appreciate or understand and reciprocate on a similarly spiritual level, it can become a very difficult task to be so self-sacrificing, giving and kind. Then it becomes time to redefine your boundaries and one finds oneself in rather self-sufficient times. This level of independence is not without its challenges. It veers precariously close to isolation and alienation. But it can also flip the other way and may you yourself your worst enemy. You start to side with the outside and find yourself a stranger.
You may need to put on a new suit of armour for a while to protect the inner self. Simultaneously, the inner self has to be trained up to be more resilient against negative external influences. Training always has a hard connotation in our modern Western society, but eventhough perseverance and dedication are key, we need to turn towards a peaceful and loving attitude. We need to let go of everything else which cannot bring us peace and love. Not every battle can be won with this new approach, but there is no other way forward. It will take time and considerable loss before we figure out that there is no choice. The more we believe in this path easier it will get. That is why it is so important that we band together, not like hippies to tread the dewdrops of a new dawn, but in a holy kind of communion, facing the same old, dead-beat path (with new vision).
I like how you have given some balanced reflection to your diet. However I'm not sure that right now is the time to start including meat. Skin conditions arising from the deeper layers, precisely require a treatment via the metabolism, which often means excluding meat and concentrating on raw foods. The hepatic system (liver) will be needing extra attention with bitter herbs, artichoke or dandelion elixir, maybe a spring cleanse with Birch elixir, which can be made into a super refreshing but also soothing cocktail with pear juice and lemon. The pear is a gentle, eternally feminine fruit.
You want to be careful with foreign matter and metabolic waste. Around these elimination products hardening can take place, explaining also the sore joints. However, you must first and foremost follow your gut feeling and if you detect a specific appetite for animal protein, then, indeed there is no spiritual reason not to consume good-quality meat. It will be important, however, to choose meat which has been slaughtered humanely, for example goats prefer the halal method and pigs and cows prefer to be bolt shot - or so their angels inform us. Biodynamic farming is always preferable because so much more cosmic quality of life is given to the animals, which also benefits man, and avoids adding to his negative karma which industrial farming cannot.
The argument you give to defend your choice for consuming meat is not exactly Anthroposophic, but since there is no real defense necessary that doesn't matter. Just remember, that right now would benefit, also, a lot from understanding in how you differ from animals. You will need to strengthen and encourage your I and astral body a lot more. They need to be made to feel special, and at ease within your physical incarnation. It depends a bit on your age and gender, but we can neither pamper them or whip them. From what you describe, you right to see how your task on Earth is probably too important for you to escape it in any way.
I get a strong sense that this importance deserves to be elevated to a more pronounced platform. It is not only about making life possible for others - their lives will probably carry on all right without you somewhere down the line; but what about their after-lives? So much of what we do from day to day in a very ordinary way is extremely special when it is reviewed in the existence after death. It is the small things which can convert so much life force into eternal force. It warms me to read how you have things to repair and clean, chores which bore me to tears when I would rather be writing something weighty and life changing! But I, too, have learned (the hard way) that great beauty and much progress lies in such humble chores. They must be done however with a peace of heart and a genuine inner joy. This is not easy. But it can be done; and we are right to dedicate our prayers - to ourselves - that we may find the strength and trust to do so. In this way we overcome doubt and despondency.
The only problem with a diet high in protein is that it pushes the activity of the higher bodies out towards the skin. The I and astral body pushed away from the centre with not enough metabolic digestive work to be done there. Eating meat is an easy way of gaining sustenance. There are fewer cosmic challenges to confront on a physical level. In times of considerable fatigue it is sensible to eat more eggs and dairy, especially yoghurt, kefir and curds, and goat's milk and cheese especially rejuvenate and ground.
The lesions are symptoms of your trying to work out the hardening or stagnant forces within. There may be a see-saw between joint pain and lesions, either/or, while you are trying to harnass the higher members betterThe massage is very good to simulate energetic flow anew, and I'm glad to hear it is having some success, but I am somewhat miffed by the products you use. You really using hydrogen peroxide? And Borax? I would rather be looking to emphasise the silver processes, which are regenerative on an etheric level. Rosemary lotion, or hydrosol is particularly stimulating for the scalp and hair growth. It revitalises the ether body by connecting it to the higher members. You could also use the hydrosol in a basin of water for a splash wash in the morning to get yourself activated. It works like a spiritual slap in the spiritual face. I am also thinking of calendula. I am no fan of coconut oil myself and prefer avocado, because the palm tree is it very hard plant with very strong silica forces at work. But if the scent relaxes you by emporting you to tropical abodes then by all means enjoy! Try to find ways to warm yourself through gently and rhythmically. Rose oil. Lavender oil. Sage baths. Lemonbalm tea. Glaring light does little to colour darkness.
You might like to think of trying something with potassium sulphuricum. I personally have grown fond of Sch黶sler salts, they are relatively cheap and in my experience fairly effective. You would be looking at taking salt number 6, then, preferably in combination with number 10, natrium sulphuricum, you will be helping to detoxify the liver. Number 27, potassium bichromium is useful in addition, where energy is low. I like to combine assaults with Bach flower remedies. Why not take a look at http://www.bachcentre.com, on the page with a guide to the remedies, and look down the list of very short descriptions to see if there is an essence which jumps out for you. That might be a little therapeutic assignment itself for you.
For all the dietary measures and external applications we could collect as supportive measures, and it will always remain a matter of trial and error and personal preference, we must also find something for the real I to get stuck into. You might like to look into doing something eurhythmic. This therapy enlivens gestures under the direction of the I. It intends to build an incorruptible bridge between Higher Self and the I organisation. Veil painting therapy is something else to look into, perhaps. As therapies neither might be directly available to you, in your area, but it may be worth researching and familiarising yourself more with techniques that engage your soul in an active and concrete fashion. The only way through lethargy, apathy, depletion, depression and overall chronic fatigue or disease is step-by-step.
The path of initiation of the soul is threefold: a nonjudgemental stance, which is a matter of purified thought supported by will; inner peace, which is achieved by will stilled by thoughtfulness; and keeping the balance, is a respect for a spiritual life, which equates a living feeling for all at all times.
Every time you look at a flower, or just the tiny lobes of the seedling, try to see stars for cells. This may bring you closer to the cosmic reality behind all matter. In this we can find clarity and optimism. Great creative powers are at work behind the clouds or fog in our brain. We must always endeavour to break free out of this prison and enter a truly lasting reality. In part this takes a leap of faith, but it takes much more a down to earth attitude. We need to observe closely what is here before our very eyes. You must not just believe a local evidence or statistical laws. Just open your eyes and see the miracle of life. This is also the truth. Life is a lie or delusion. But one we must all agree upon. We cannot live in our own inventions forever. This is to create individual islands which will only turn out to be molehills of waste.
I am sure that as an artist you are capable of very accurate perception. Furthermore, you will be empathic; which, unfortunately, also means you are subject to a lot of pain. As I said at the beginning of this response, you have my warmest support in coping with this ordeal. More significantly, I am sure you are supported by much greater forces willing you well. Allow them to do so and have an effect. Ultimately it is up to your own free will to choose to accept this help, or to share the misery of others instead. If we all stay miserable we cannot help each other. Most of the time we suffer with guilt and cannot forgive ourselves for the petty crimes we continuously commit. There comes a point in time in our life when, in order to carry on, we must count our losses and be a little bit audacious and brush our imperfections to one side. This is to believe in yourself until you become somebody others can believe in. Lord knows it isn't easy; but there is reason for that too. If it were easy, we would all be equal. In the struggle for differentiation we all become unique and indispensable.
I wish you all the very best and my warmest thoughts will continue to be with you,
Love, Evelyn
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