I need help

Question
I really don't know where to start other than to say I need help badly!
I am a 33yr old mother of one, my BMI is around 47. I had sucessfully lost weight once before back in 1996, back then I weighed 253 when I decided to do something about it, it took me right at a year and I lost down to 170. This was a great size for me. I then got married, and steadily started gaining it back plus some. I now weight 300lbs, I have almost no energy nor enough motivation to get up and do something about it. to think about needing to loose 130lbs makes me feel overwelmed. I have bought programs, and exercise tapes but never play them. I currently am a member of Curves, however I went for about 2 months and haven't returned due to excuses (not reasons). I have a hard time motivaing myself, even though things  want to do and situations in my life should be motivation enough.
My Dad/Mom/siblings are all overweight or obese, my father passed away due to illnesses and complications due to obesity. He had congestive heart failure, fluid on his lungs to the point of needing oxygen occasionally. He would have fluid around his heart as well. I have to say that I have always been a lazy person and procrastinate often about a lot of things.

Some symptoms I am experiencing due to my weight are as follows. My feet swell on a daily basis, and it reminds me of my fathers feet. I have slight chest pains occasionally, my back hurt often, my hips hurt during the night from lying on my side, and my knees hurt when I'm going up or down stairs. I have border line hypertention also, though not bad enough for medication. I have had many discusions with my physician about weight loss, he once asked if I had considered the Gastro Bypass surgery. I replied that I wasn't ready to go that route, my physician has since sucessfully had the surgery himself.

My husband don't understand what it's like for me, he thinks I should just be able to decide to lose weight and do it. I asked him once to help me, but he would get made at me if I slipped up. He is the type that can eat anything in sight and not gain, I keep telling him it's going to catch up to him one day, especially now that he is not as active as before.

These are the reasons I want to lose weight: To feel better about myself mentally, to feel healthier, to be able to play and run w/my daughter, to have more energy, to feel sexy and desirable to my husband, I don't want to feel like my husband and daughter are ashamed of me in public. I need help......I know all the things I need to do, but I need that switch to flip on in my brain that gives me the determination to do it.

Answer
Our bodies were essentially designed to eat vegetables and fruit and complex carbs.  If you look at our tooth structure and the length of our intestines, they were designed for vegetables/fruit/complex carbohydrates much more than they were designed for meat.  A low fat diet can prevent 15-20% of all cancers.  Notice, not all of them....so you have to die from something.

Remember, in the 50 years of the Framingham study that looked at risk factors form heart disease, none of the 6,000 subjects who had cholesterol less than 150 had a heart attack!

I try to explain the diet part by following 2 simple rules:
1.  Eliminate animal fat.  Because of this rule, it turns you into a "vegetarian".  Oh well.  There are some things to learn about this like making sure you still get essential amino acids.  Soy protein has all eight essetial amino acids.  Rice and beans have the major 3 amino acids (tryptophan, methionine, lysine).  If you eat breakfast cereal with a dab of nonfat yogurt, you get the essential amino acids.   In general "whole grains" plus legumes (any bean) will give you the essentials.  Your body only needs 14 grams of essential fats a day to survive and you can easily get this from vegetables.  I also take a B12 vitamin to ensure I get enough B12.  I use soy milk on my cereal (and sometimes drind 4 oz extra).

Remember 1 gram of fat is 9 calories. One gram of protein or carbs is 4 calories.  That is part of the reason you don't need to worry how much you eat in this lifestyle.  You eat when your hungry.  But as explained in rule number 2, you don't get hungry the same way you are now!

2.  Eliminate simple carbohydrates.  What does that mean?

First, eliminate simple sugars like cake, candy, cookies, pop (regular), juice, etc.  In other words if it tastes sweet, avoid it.  I follow this rule 98% of the time.  I will have a rare jelly bean or ice cream/cake at a birthday party, but in very limited quantities and never more than once a week.  This rule is very important to stop the carb cravings you talk about.

Second, eliminate processed grains.  These are things with white flour/white rice, etc.  When they process the grain, they take out the fiber and bran which slows the absorbption of the carbs.  Subsequently, just like with simple sugars, you raise you blood sugar level quickly.  This makes insulin rise, but it will frequently overshoot.  

This causes two problems:   1. It turns on your lipoprotein lipase and causes you to turn your sugar to fat. 2. It causes your sugar to go back down low and drive you to crave more carbs and thus the cycle begins all over again.  After two weeks of this low fat/no simple carb diet, those cravings will go away.  You still get hungry..in fact I "graze" a lot.  I eat pretty much all day, but follow the rules.  

What are complex carbs?  Whole grains....whole wheat, brown rice, corn, rye, etc.  If you buy bread make sure it is 100% whole grain.  Many "wheat" breads in the store still have white flour in it.  If ingredients say "enriched flour" it likely is white flour.

This is not hard to follow from the standpoint of hunger.  It is hard to follow from the standpoint that in our society, 80% of the foods (or more) that are presented to you in social situations are simple carbs and fat.

It takes discipline.  But I have come to think of those foods as poison since they make me feel lousy.

Benefits of this lifestyle:
1.  More energy
2.  Less anxiety/depression
3.  eliminates heart disease and type II diabetes
4.  lowers cancer risk (not eliminate)
5.  you will drift to your "ideal" body weight without focusing on losing weight.  It may take 6-12 months, but it will happen if you are strict on the rules.

Other components to the lifestyle besides what you eat:
1. exercise
2.  eliminate caffeine (I haven't completed this yet, but I am close)  This and all stimulants increase the activity of your nervous system and this has negative consequences for your heart.  Eliminating this also reduces anxiety.

3.  meditate/pray/relax your muscles.

Atkins had it 1/4 right.  By eliminating carbs, his diet eliminates simple carbs.  But you don't have to eliminate complex carbs...he's wrong there.  Also, fat itself in the diet is shown to cause damage to arteries and make you blood easier to clot regardless of cholesterol.  Remember Dr. Atkins had heart attack 2 years ago, but he said his diet didn't cause it!

Sorry for the long winded answer, but I think this is the key to obesity in  America.   We are loaded with simple carbs and fats and we wonder why we can't lose weight.   Remember, the average Chinese person is near ideal body weight.  The average American is obese.   The Average Chinese eats less than 15% fat diet.   The Average American gets 40-50% calories from fat.  The aveage Chinese eats 20% MORE calories per day than the average American, but they are not fat!  

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