5 year olds food obsession

Question
Hi I have a lovely 5 year old daughter (middle child) who is very bright and thoughtful and mature.  She is not overweight but she obsesses about food.  She wakes up in the morning and asks what is for breakfast, when I pick her up from preschool she asks what is for afternoon tea and dinner.  She will not eat veges, and we will not give her junk food, so often we have fights and she will take herself to bed, rather than eat what we are offering.  I am worried that there may be some pychological problem.  She must know we love her though, we are a very stable, happy family.  She is read to and played with, and we always tell her how much we love her.  We do have a 4 month old baby.  Could this be the problem?  Also, people always tell her how beautiful she is (not us so much) because she has long red curly hair.  She also has episodes where she will hold on to her poo, too scared it will hurt.  Is she just being 5, or is there something more?  Thanks

Answer
First, you are obviously VERY involved, good parents! I'm so happy to see this!

Secondly, yes, your daughter's behavior could very well be because she's not 'the baby' anymore. If you relax and downplay the issues surrounding food, perhaps ask her to help plan the meals she's asking about, it may loose steam.
If she suggests something unhealthy - give her two other choices. IE: she asks for cake? You offer apple or banana slices with peanut butter to dip into, or a couple teaspoons of brown sugar w/cinnamon to sprinkle on. Veggies may become more interesting with a dipping sauce of ranch (low fat) dressing, bleu cheese, or squeeze on butter (it's a no-trans fat, low cal choice).  

Finally, I have some concern over a child 'holding' defecation with concerns of it hurting. For this - I'd have her evaluated by a medical professional who can determine whether or not there's a problem. Ideally, the professional should be aware of not only physical reasons, but prepared to investigate any psychological source.
  ---  This is really pretty important  ---  

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