Bulimia related

Question
I have been struggling with bulimia and anorexia for over 3 years, and compulsive binge eating much of my life.  It has gotten really bad lately, to the point where I will eat over 10 lbs of food at one time, then purge.

My stomach is all stretched out and I have gained 25 lbs in the past 9 months.  I am now between 140 and 145, and really wanting to drop 15 pounds.  

The questions I keep wondering are:

1.  I notice that my cheeks are more swollen than they used to be 3 years ago.  I have been puking at least once each day.  This week I have had a few days where I did not because I have really been trying not to.  After a long period of not inducing vomiting, will my cheeks go back down to their normal state before I began this horrible habit/addiction?  Or will they permanently stay swollen?

2.  Will my stomach be able to regain elasticity?  Or will I always have a kangaroo pouch of extra skin?  

Is there anything I can do to quicken the process?  I have been trying to eat natural foods and give up sugar and alcohol for the most part.  Red wine in moderation.  Today I had some cake and that sent me over the edge.  I could not just have one piece.  

I just want to be normal again and not feel like I have to hide a deep secret.  I don't have a boyfriend, but by biggest fear is that if I ever get married, my husband will be disgusted by my flabby stomach.  

I know it sounds vain and insecure and trite.  If you can answer my questions, I would be very grateful.  

Thanks for taking your time to read my note!  

Answer
What you're seeing with your cheeks is bloat, not likely fat. They will return to normal when you do.
Your stomach will also recover, although you may have to be patient for this.
Now, for your 'lecture' about the dangers of bulimia, which I'm obligated to give you because I survived it and recovered from it - AND have maintained my healthy weight without any eating disorder(s) for more than 5 years now - and YOU can too.

Repeated bulimia with vomiting is like having chronic GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) x 100! According to the medical research, "complications include breaks in the lining of the esophagus (esophageal erosions), esophageal ulcer, and narrowing of the esophagus (esophageal stricture). In some patients, the normal esophageal lining or epithelium may be replaced with abnormal (Barrett's) epithelium. This condition (Barrett's esophagus) has been linked to cancer of the esophagus and must be carefully watched. Lung (pulmonary) aspiration, asthma and inflammation of the vocal cords or throat may also be caused by GERD"
 Remember, bulimia is far worse and these complications are far more likely.

http://www.medicinenet.com/gastroesophageal_reflux_disease_gerd/page4.htm   

 A metallic taste is often blood, even if you're not seeing it. It can be indicating a bleed in the lower esophagus or stomach (ulcers?).

Involuntary spasms in a bulimic are probably the worst. Your esophagus could split/rupture at any time and it takes several minutes (fully aware) to drown to death in your own blood and fluids.
 If this scares you, it's meant to. Having suffered bulimia (in different forms) for more than 30 years, ALL forms being dangerous and generally not working (most bulimics are of average, or over-weight) - I promise you - the relief and the freedom you'll feel when you beat it, is remarkable!

 Please - make it stop. Surely your life is more than a number (calories, weight, size)? If it's not, then it's time to make it different.  
 Compose your obituary today as it is so far. Then, compose what you would like it to be. The 2nd one is your blueprint for life. Most certainly you don't want to be remembered for an eating disorder; found dead with head in toilet.

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