nothing seems to be working

Question
Hi, I'm 17 years old, 5'1" and 105 lbs. I was always really skinny compared to others at my high school, but lately ive began putting on all this weight and im not sure why. back in january, i was about 99 lbs, and ive gained 6 lbs since then... some of my friends told me this doesnt seem like a lot, but i can see a difference: mainly, my face has become rounder, my thighs/calves have become bigger, and my stomach bulges out. I also started taking a birth control pill every day to prevent acne, but I just started that about 2 weeks ago, so i know that the pill isnt the only reason im putting on weight (my doctor warned me i would probably gain 5-7 lbs after taking this pill). I already started gaining this weight at least two months before i started taking this pill. Im really desperate on getting the skinny thighs/calves that I had before, and i want my face to go back to being not-so-round. i work out everyday for about an hour at a gym -cardio/running, ab workouts, but nothing seems to be helping. If anything, i feel like my legs are getting BIGGER (especially my calves). I know there's more muscle there, but i also want to slim down. I dont know what to do anymore! If i dont do something about my weight (even though it might not seem like a big deal to some people), i feel like im going to lose interest in everything else besides my weight. All i ever see when i meet people on the streets are how skinny their calves are, and how slim and angular their faces are. It's driving me crazy, but I cant help obsessing over it unless I slim down! My tennis coach tells me to eat super healthy, but i dont know how many calories i should put in every day to lose some of that weight, or what foods to eat (I know to avoid junk, deep-fried foods, but i dont know what meats i can eat, etc)
Please give me some advice on how to:
1. slim down my face/get rid of all the fat thats making my face look so round
2. slim down my thighs (so my tennis shorts dont bulge so tightly around my thighs) and calves (i have HUGE man-like calves and its really embarassing when i wear skirts)
3. make my stomach flatter. (only my stomach bulges out a lot, while the rest of my upper body is pretty slim/small). I do ab workouts, but they only harden the stomach bulge i seem to have.
PLEASE HELP ME! Im so desperate! I'm not looking to become super skinny, i just need to lose this extra fat i have lying around!
Im really sorry this is such a long message, but I didnt know how to shorten it. Thanks for your time,
ali

Answer
Hi Ali,
Greetings and thank you for your question.
Dear, I can see that you are completely stressed over this.... and, this stress... not what you are eating, or not the exercise you are doing, and not necessarily the birth control pills, is the major cause of the weight and the acne.

Consider that when the first informaation came out about how our bodies are nothing more than the result of our emotional energy, (Louise Hay, 1963), the link was established between acne and self-love.  This same link exists between obesity and honor of self and self-respect.

You are not obese, or even overweight.  You have great energy and physical stamina considering that you playing tennis. You sound to me like you have a great life and could really be enjoying your teen years, except that you do not see it that way.

Let's put things in perspective... it seems to me that the teen years were designed to have us:
a) compare ourselves to the super-models on tv and the tabloids,
b) compare ourselves to the "popular" and supposedly more desirable girls in our high school clases.
c) deal with feelings of insecurity everyday due to the comparisons above.

Your assignment from me is to go beyond all this.  You are smart...(I can you that I get very few letters that are as well written as yours), and you are dedicated... this world was meant for you to succeed if you could only see your gifts instead of foccusing on what you think is a lack of them.

I suggest that you start to keep a daily journal of at least three things that you see about yourself that you appreciate.  Be glad you are you.  For now, accept what you cannot appreciate about yourself and look beyond these things to the aspects of yourself that you would admire in another (except you do not have to wait to admire someone else... you have you).

Also, if I were you, I would not go anywhere near the birth control pills.  These have long-term damaging effects on the body, not to mention your internal conversation with yourself that you need to change... you do not.

Remember, you are perfect exactly the way you are.  See it.

Best,
Mary Jo

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