Passing on my obsession

Question
Hi Laura,

I am a 33 yr old mother of 2, I have always been obsessed with my weight as I am the only one in my immediate family that would not be considered morbidly obese, and have fought my whole life to avoid it. I am overweight, although my size does not help with my obsession, I am 5'10 and even at 165lbs was only in a size 8. My problem is that I feel I am passing on my obsession to my children. I thought that I have always been careful about how I address food in front of my kids, but I have found lately, that my son, (7yrs old)is starting to develop my habits, and I worry that as he gets older, it might cause him to develop other psychological problems with food. If my family is having ice cream as a treat, I will often refrain, and when the kids ask about it, I say something like " Well mommy just doesn't need any icecream right now, I'm watching what I'm eating." Lately, an answer like this has caused my son to push his bowl away, and say "Yeah, I'm not going to have any either, mom and I are watching what we're eating"  My son is built a lot like his father and I both, very solid, and his weight fluctuates quite consistently, he gains weight throughout the winter as his level of activity diminishes (cold snowy winters make it hard for the kids to play outside as much)and once spring hits, he's back outside 3-4 hours a day, riding his bike, jumping on the trampoline etc... And he thins right out. But he will come and ask me if I want to go exercise with him, which bothers me as I feel that no 7 yr old should be concerned with exercising as opposed to just going out to play...

I wonder if I'm concerned for no reason, or is there some way that I can try to stop this before he spends the rest of his life in a constant struggle with food.

Answer
Hi Dawn, Your son has the genes to become obese, so if he watches what he eats and exercises daily now, he will hopefully prevent it from happening later when he gets older. You are just trying to protect him, so deep down, I think you really want him to be aware of what he eats and what exercises he does. Educate him now, but there is no need to obsess. If you are obsessed, yes, he might become obsessed. Pushing away a bowl of ice cream, if he's not really hungry is not a bad thing. I don't consider that an obsession. If you purposely starve yourself and over exercise, then he might pick up on that and try to follow in your footsteps, so just be aware of what you are showing him.
I think he will be fine, he sounds like a smart boy who is just trying to please and help his mom. Hope that helps, Laura Kraemer,Slimkids.com

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