Terrible Weightloss Problem!

Question
Dear Linda... hello!
My name is Othman and I live in Bahrain, middleast. I have been overweight all my life and now its reaching alarming stage. Can you help me out please?

I am 23 years old, 5ft 2in and weigh around 102 kgs. My waistline measures 44 inches. Problem is I have tried dieting, exercising, going to gym, reading weightloss books..... but my will power is very weak. I am not at all disciplined and have time management problems in other areas of life as well. I can't stay in gym more than a week. I am a food lover! Burgers, pizzas, shawarmas..... you name it, I like it!

Now I am having pain in my knees, chest muscles and even kidneys. I feel drowsy and sleepy all day. My energy level is very low and I just want to sit infront of my laptop or watch tv. This has affected my studies also. My parents are worried about me. My recent blood test reveals hight sugar, cholesterol levels and high thyroid level.

But thats not all, my problem is worse. I don't feel motivated to loose weight no matter what others tell me. Usually some people tell me to loose weight so I can find a good girl to marry! Others tell me its easy to loose weight, just cut your meal in half! My elders tell me all I need to loose weight is eat reasonably! I think these are all empty promises.

I have read all those books about weightloss that tell you to have a "vision" and a "goal" and to keep on repeating "I want to loose weight"..... these things have never been helpful to me. Goal setting is one thing in which I am very bad. Not to mention I have read all those self-help literature about goal setting too. None of them helped.

Just today morning I decided to have only one meal a day and spend rest of the day eating fruits and vegetables. And now I went out to walk. As I was walking there in the park, everybody was exercising and walking BUT.... most of them were couples! And I was alone! So I felt very lonely, sad and depressed. Now I could have asked a friend of mine to join me but honestly speaking, I am a bit introvert. I don't usually hang out with friends. My only wish at that time was to have a good, sincere and loving girlfriend who could keep me motivated. But then I felt these are just false whips of desires.

I really don't know what to do. Please help me to get out of this mental rut!

Answer
Hi Othman,

Thank you for taking the time to explain your problem. I understand that this is not an easy problem to solve, but I hope my insights as a weight consultant and as a mature, forty one year old woman who had faced many challenges including having depression & suicidal thoughts during my teenage years might help you.

1. Weight Loss
The problem with many diet methods is that they tell people to eat less. Like you, I am a food lover and I love to eat until I feel really full. With my weight loss method, I teach people to eat food that are large in volume but low in calories first before they eat food that are dense in calories. When you are full, you have better self control so automatically you will consume less food that are high in calories and fat content. This is an example of food that is large in volume but low in calories:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDS7Paie5KQ&feature=channel_page

2. Feeling Alone
Many people have been brainwashed by movies and when they see couples walking together, they automatically think oh...that's so lovely, they must never feel alone. That is not true. Couples, just like single people have ups and downs...there are days that they are happy together, and there are days that they want to kill each other. Sometimes, our spouse will make us happy, sometimes they cause a lot of problems and heartache.

Each person is born with his or her personal challenges and no one, not even a loving spouse can help us deal with those challenges. We all have to deal with our challenges personally. And life is like gravity, it always wants to pull us down. We have to create a happy & balanced environment around us, otherwise, life is tough.

For myself, when it抯 hard to wake up in the morning, I turn on some happy disco music.  I also try to read my bible, once or twice a day to purify my thoughts & intentions. I write down what I need to do that day on my agenda and I also read a lot of nonfiction, self help books to deal with my life challenges.

You are right, however, about self help books, sometimes we read & understand, but it is hard to apply the advice. That's why when I wrote my book, I make sure that in every chapter, I give simple tips about how to build slimming habits because habits is truly the building blocks of our life.

3. Habit
You told me that in other areas of life, you have little will power so I assume that when you are young, you were not taught about building good habits. Since you are 23 years old, it will be hard for you to start building good habits but it's not impossible.

I myself have problems with time management. I was a spoiled kid and my parents didn't really teach me about time management, so now at 41, I'm still learning...

4. About Motivation
Motivation is a funny thing and sometimes it takes us many years to understand our own motivation. At times it's a challenge for me to help some people to lose weight because even when they say they want to lose weight, deep down in their heart, they don't. Some people hide inside their body. A friend of mine had a broken heart when her husband left her. I think she intentionally got obese to avoid men so she'd never be disappointed again.

I think inside of you, you might have conflicting motivation. I'd suggest you to go down to a hospital & see people who are sick because of obesity related problem. That might motivate you to take action.

In addition to that, I think you need a coach. Just like someone who wants to win in a sport or other game of life you need a good coach who will motivate and keep you accountable on your weight loss journey.

Life is a series of lessons. Just like learning in a classroom,sometimes we do well on our test, sometimes we have to retake the test...but either way, we always learn something new, about the world or about ourselves.

Just try to make a small improvement every single day. Buy small dumbbells, a pair of 5 lbs or 8 lbs and do bicep curls when you watch TV or take a little break from your computer. Read my book from cover to cover, mark it, and put a post it note where you need to follow up. In every chapter of my book, I wrote about how to build slimming habits. Take a little step to build those habits and soon they will be your second nature.

Every little step is A BIG SUCCESS!!!

PS. Check out this inspiring video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4uG2kSdd-4

Best wishes,
Linda Yo
Certified Weight Consultant
Author of Asian Slim Secrets
http://www.asianslimsecrets.com

"If you are ready to become slim, trim,
energized and healthier using the
ancient wisdom of Asia, read this book
and use it now."

Mark Victor Hansen,
co-creator the #1 NY Times Best-selling Series
Chicken Soup for the Soul  

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