Getting back on track

Question
Hi Laurie
I am 32, 5'4 and aprox 11st. I have 1 son who is just over a year old.
I've battled with my weight for 10yrs, yo-yoing from a uk size 10 to my biggest at uk size 18. I've managed to balance out at around a UK size 12.
I was a 10/12 when I fell pregnant with my son, I practised Aikido 3 times a week and ate well. I was very sick during my pregnancy so after having my son, I soon shrank down to
a size 12.
I managed to eat well and keep the weight off. When my son was aprox 6 months old we moved to a small town. Since then the healthy eating seems to have gone out of the window, despite us being in a nicer house. I don't exercise so much as there's not really anywhere to walk (our old town had a big centre that I would walk around for hours!) and I find that all I do is eat junk food.
I can't see past crisps, chocolate and convenience food. I crave chocolate and when I go shopping, I just cannot see any healthy choices.
My son eats well, but I find myself filling up on bad stuff.

Why all of a sudden am I blinkered and just not able to see fresh tasty food?

I think that money plays a big part as again I see value in cheap food and not in spending a bit more on good food and being able to make a few meals from it.

I feel depressed (and I comfort eat but all it is is liking the taste of something in my mouth), bloated, fat, ill and I'm just starting to completely lose interest in life in general. I try and think to myself that I could eat anything I want to, but that makes me even less interested in food. I'm bored of it!

I'm starting some counselling soon anyway as I did have very bad PND and still need some support, but I think a good start is revitalising my diet.
I do take multi-vits but this is no substitute for a good diet.

I need some help and quickly! Thanks for taking the tiem to read and answer this.

(ps, I always go by my clothing size as I have always been heavy from my 9lb5oz birth, even when I was a uk size 8 I was considered slightly overweight!)

Answer
Dear Sarah,

It sounds like your main issue right now is depression.  You've gone through some major changes: having a baby moving to a new house, and a new town without the surroundings you were used to.  Food is always there, doesn't judge us, tastes good, and feels good!  It's no wonder you are using food to make you feel better... it works!

I am glad to hear you are going for counselling, because that's exactly what I would suggest.  You know the right things to eat, so having someone tell you to eat healthy wouldn't do any good at all.

Once you and your counsellor come up with some ways to help you feel good about yourself and your life again, you will treat your body well with the healthy foods you know are best. Your logical mind will realize that eating sweets and snacks don't actually make you feel good!  And once you are in that reasonable frame of mind, you'll be able to substitute what you really need for the company of junk food.

For now I would like you to identify one different healthy food you can eat every day.  If this is a fresh fruit, fresh vegetable, or just plain water, it counts!  Each day your assignment is to have a healthy food, so be sure it is one you happen to like. Choose a different one every day. This will start getting your mind adjusted to how good you feel when you treat yourself like you deserve to be treated!  With things that are good for you.  They can make you feel good too :)

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