Accepting Myself and being Healthy

Question
Hi Kristina,

First of all I would like to thank you for helping others through this free service. People who help others are rare and have not doubt that I will pay this forward. I try to help people all the time and every chance I get, and I want to thank you in advance.

I have been overweight my whole life. Up until 3 years ago I suffered deeply from suicidal depression and used to get up every day dreading my life. I couldn't bear to live another day. Yet, after therapy, medication, and reading hundreds of self help book I have changed my life completely. I am truly a different person. I am truly happy, complete and absolutely joyful of life and all the fruits that it offers.

Nevertheless, there is still one area in my life that is not 100% and that is my weight. About 1 year ago I weighed 305 pounds (I am 6 foot 1) and I was at 44% fat. I was doing very badly. I started working out and dieting and trimmed down to 28% fat. I know weigh about 270 pounds. I work out about 4 times a week in which I lift weights for about an hour and do cardio excercise for about another hour. I think I'm doing pretty well. I am muscular, I have a lot of physical condition and I can sustain very heavy workouts no problem. Nevertheless, I used to feel that I still wanted to get to my ideal fat percentage of
below 20%.

I have always been big boned and I am a large person. I have 18 inch biceps, 32 inch thighs a 22 inch neck and 16 inch forearms. I  don't want to look like a fashion model nor do I want to be perfect in terms of weight. All i want is to be healthy.

IN health terms I am fine. I am 27 years old, I have no stress, I sleep 8 to 10 hours per day, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't drink sodas nor do I eat any processed foods, my diet is rich in grains, fruits and vegetables, I eat a lot of fiber, I have about 4 bowel movements per day, my cholesterol, sugar, blood pressure and pretty much every other level is at perfect condition. I consider myself a very healthy individual both physical and mentally. My only fault is my weight. I can't be perfect, I realize that, and I don't intend to be. I really like food, and not junk food. I hate cakes, sweets, candy or fast food. I enjoy healthy food and what I like the most is traditional japanese sushi and I eat a lot of it.

Physically I don't look overweight. I look very strong and very fit. People are telling me I look great and I really feel great. Nevertheless I am not at my ideal weight, I know that. But I still feel perfect the way I am. I just want to accept mysefl for who I am. I want to eat well, as I love food, I don't want to gain any more weight, I want to remain exactly as I am now, and I want to be healthy for life. The only "vice" I have in life is binging a little bit on food now and again. but that is it. I am not a vicious person, and I don't have anything else that might be negative.

I guess that what I wanted to ask is, do you think that given my circumstances, I could live on like this and be a healthy individual with my current weight, workout regimes and everything? I have tried to lose more weight but I can't. Physically and mentally I think that my body is tired of losing weight. I can't do it. I feel terrific and I don't want to torture myself anymore with the scale, with thinking about losing weight. I just want to be. What do you think?

thanks again!

Answer
Hi Robbie,
Well it sounds like you have overcome a lot and you have done a great job so congratulations on that and you should be proud of yourself.  It seems like there a few things to address.  You say you don't seem satisfied with your current weight (or that you want to lose weight) but at the same time you want to learn to be happy with your current weight and then if you can maintain your current weight.  Some of this may still be mental as while we change our lives to be happier sometimes we haven't fully addressed all of our demons so on that note I would suggest speaking to a professional just to make sure you have addressed all of that.  I would then talk to your primary care doctor to see his thoughts on whether or not you are healthy and need to make any changes.  If you are healthy in that since then what you are left with is how you really feel about yourself and whether or not you want to make any changes.  If you stay with your current routine of both diet and exercise I don't see why you can't maintain your current weight.  A personal trainer and nutritionist can both do an assessment and give you a better idea of how to maintain or if you decide you want to lose more weight or decrease your fat fat percentage.  Sometimes we can go through a lot and still have some issues to deal with and that is normal and ok.  I hope you can get an evaluation by a therapist and your medical doctor to get an idea of how your current health is and where you really want to go.  I hope this helps and good luck.  You've been through a lot and I'm sure you will do great!  

1. Prev:Summertime dedication
2. Next:Booze weekends?