Clarity came in my late 30s, when I realized that I was fed up with missing out on all the good things life had to offer. I'd already tried to lose weight every way known to humankind but had no success, so this time I decided to ask for help. With my doctor's guidance, I underwent a vertical gastrectomy, which drastically limited the amount of food that could fit in my stomach.
A total transformation
As the weight started to slide off, my emotions surprised me. I'd expected to feel elated as my new, thinner self emerged, but instead I felt uneasy. I wasn't just dealing with a changing body—my entire identity was shifting. I was no longer the "fat girl," and I felt a little uncomfortable with the new attention from men. But slowly my confidence grew, and along with it came a newfound determination to step outside my comfort zone. No longer would I allow self-doubt to hold me back. I was ready to take risks—both in my career and with my love life.
After years of just thinking about it, I finally launched my own company—and I started dating, too. I still was worried about how my body looked, but I quickly realized that I'm a likable gal even though I'm not a size zero. My mantra now is to live in the present and not dwell on the literal—and proverbial—weight of my past.
It's a funny thing: When you're constantly reminded how overweight you are, you think that the ocean will part when you finally drop the pounds—that you'll have lots of boyfriends and make more money and life will be so much easier. I've realized that things don't magically get better when you lose weight, but I do have the confidence to do more than ever before. I'm still dating, and I'm open to finding someone to share my life with, but my journey has taught me that having a guy isn't going to determine if I'm happy. Of course, I'll be the first to tell you that I'm a good catch, but the love and joy I'd been seeking was always within me—I just had to look for it.
