Lose Weight > Common Sense To Lose Weight > Obesity > The Fear of Food Must be Broken To Beat Obesity
The Fear of Food Must be Broken To Beat Obesity
Fast weight loss is every obese person's dream diet, but when I introduce my new clients to my proven plan they panic when I tell them they must eat to succeed. This is something I actually understand. When I weighed 256 pounds and was so depressed I was worried for my safety, I found a naturopath who would run the blood tests I wanted to see if my liver was to blame. After giving her my medical and dieting history and explaining why I felt it was my liver causing the problems she agreed to let me do things my way. I thought I had convinced her. Nine months later when I had lost 136 pounds and returned for the final blood work that would prove my liver theory, she shared with me her first impression. She had written in her notes: "Patient views food as poison."
She was right. After helping so many other obese women, I have realized I was not alone. For many of us food is our greatest nemesis. We love it, but hate it. Actually, we fear it more. Even as a child I never ate any food, including good foods like apples, without guilt or fear of being judged. Many of my clients say the same thing, yet the number one reason the obese quit diets is that they just want to eat like a normal person.
One of the biggest concerns for the obese in our relationship with food is that we have no idea how to eat "normal." We are great on diets, but outside that structure, all we seem to know is how to overeat. It is that overeating that makes us obese and ill, so in our minds even though we love food and go to it for comfort and joy we know that it is killing us.
When I ask my new obese clients how they would eat if they were a normal person they either tell me that normal people can eat anything they want, which of course we all know is not true, and then they shrug. They have no idea how to eat in moderation or even wat to eat. My program requires obese clients to start off with a diet of 1800 calories. Without fail, they each tell me that is way too many calories and that they will gain weight. It takes me the two weeks of discovery that I require to convince them otherwise.
That first week almost everyone of my clients feel lost. They try to eat, but when I go over their food lists with them it is obvious they are living on typical diet foods and quantities, and most don't get even close to the 1800 calories. I always say, obese men and women are experts in starving. Where we have no experience is in eating to maintain our weight. By the second week I have them eating better whole foods, but still with apprehension. It isn't until the third or even fourth week before they start to trust the process and open their minds to how great it can be to eat foods that taste good and satisfy their daily appetites as well.
I don't believe there is anyone diet that works for everyone. We all have different likes and dislikes and our bodies react to certain foods in both positive and negative ways. Some of us do better with low fat, some thrive on higher fats. Some of us are insulin resistant with some foods spiking our blood sugar while others can eat what they want. We also have different appetites that dictate if we are grazers or three meal a day type of eaters. There is no one right or wrong way to eat. Yet most obese men and women feel they have to conform to dieting standards which have always been about deprivation and obsession.
We are so distrustful of food and our own ability to manage it that it is actually harder to get the obese to eat then it is to them to starve. If I said, okay here is this liquid diet, you won't eat for six months, they would sign on in a minute, but when I say I am going to make them eat, they back off not believing they could succeed.
When I start a new client on this program, their first week proves how true the above statement is. They eat tentatively. The foods tend to come from their dieting history, the amounts minimal. I pick out these dieting foods and ask why they chose to eat them. Their answer is surprising. Not only was the food not satisfying, but oftentimes they ate food they didn't like because that is what their dieting brain told them was the only acceptable choice. Now, there are diets out there on the market that promote lots of eating choices. They work for some, but the problem is they are small amounts for the calories, and most obese men and women need bigger servings, and when they eat higher fat, sugar, or salted foods, cravings dictate that one serving is never enough. That creates more fear of food, and that fear limits viable choices in their idea of what they can and cannot eat for weight loss. I make it clear, I do not want to see those diet foods in their menu again. Panic ensues.
It is a process, a hand holding to calm their nerves and gain their trust that it is okay to eat food as long as they understand that each choice they make needs to be seen as a whole, and it needs to work with them as a person. Once they see that they really can eat 1800 calories a day without gaining weight they are amazed. Amazed that they are now eating foods they saw as detrimental to their dieting cause, and eating those foods in amounts they find satisfying.
Making the decision to not let food, or the fear of it control you is freeing. No longer will you give in to cravings because you believe the food is stronger than you. Food will become what it is meant to be: nutrition and fuel. It is when that happens that the obese can step away from their fat suit for life.
She was right. After helping so many other obese women, I have realized I was not alone. For many of us food is our greatest nemesis. We love it, but hate it. Actually, we fear it more. Even as a child I never ate any food, including good foods like apples, without guilt or fear of being judged. Many of my clients say the same thing, yet the number one reason the obese quit diets is that they just want to eat like a normal person.
One of the biggest concerns for the obese in our relationship with food is that we have no idea how to eat "normal." We are great on diets, but outside that structure, all we seem to know is how to overeat. It is that overeating that makes us obese and ill, so in our minds even though we love food and go to it for comfort and joy we know that it is killing us.
When I ask my new obese clients how they would eat if they were a normal person they either tell me that normal people can eat anything they want, which of course we all know is not true, and then they shrug. They have no idea how to eat in moderation or even wat to eat. My program requires obese clients to start off with a diet of 1800 calories. Without fail, they each tell me that is way too many calories and that they will gain weight. It takes me the two weeks of discovery that I require to convince them otherwise.
That first week almost everyone of my clients feel lost. They try to eat, but when I go over their food lists with them it is obvious they are living on typical diet foods and quantities, and most don't get even close to the 1800 calories. I always say, obese men and women are experts in starving. Where we have no experience is in eating to maintain our weight. By the second week I have them eating better whole foods, but still with apprehension. It isn't until the third or even fourth week before they start to trust the process and open their minds to how great it can be to eat foods that taste good and satisfy their daily appetites as well.
I don't believe there is anyone diet that works for everyone. We all have different likes and dislikes and our bodies react to certain foods in both positive and negative ways. Some of us do better with low fat, some thrive on higher fats. Some of us are insulin resistant with some foods spiking our blood sugar while others can eat what they want. We also have different appetites that dictate if we are grazers or three meal a day type of eaters. There is no one right or wrong way to eat. Yet most obese men and women feel they have to conform to dieting standards which have always been about deprivation and obsession.
We are so distrustful of food and our own ability to manage it that it is actually harder to get the obese to eat then it is to them to starve. If I said, okay here is this liquid diet, you won't eat for six months, they would sign on in a minute, but when I say I am going to make them eat, they back off not believing they could succeed.
When I start a new client on this program, their first week proves how true the above statement is. They eat tentatively. The foods tend to come from their dieting history, the amounts minimal. I pick out these dieting foods and ask why they chose to eat them. Their answer is surprising. Not only was the food not satisfying, but oftentimes they ate food they didn't like because that is what their dieting brain told them was the only acceptable choice. Now, there are diets out there on the market that promote lots of eating choices. They work for some, but the problem is they are small amounts for the calories, and most obese men and women need bigger servings, and when they eat higher fat, sugar, or salted foods, cravings dictate that one serving is never enough. That creates more fear of food, and that fear limits viable choices in their idea of what they can and cannot eat for weight loss. I make it clear, I do not want to see those diet foods in their menu again. Panic ensues.
It is a process, a hand holding to calm their nerves and gain their trust that it is okay to eat food as long as they understand that each choice they make needs to be seen as a whole, and it needs to work with them as a person. Once they see that they really can eat 1800 calories a day without gaining weight they are amazed. Amazed that they are now eating foods they saw as detrimental to their dieting cause, and eating those foods in amounts they find satisfying.
Making the decision to not let food, or the fear of it control you is freeing. No longer will you give in to cravings because you believe the food is stronger than you. Food will become what it is meant to be: nutrition and fuel. It is when that happens that the obese can step away from their fat suit for life.
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