Who Do You Need to BE in 2006?

If you have been reading these articles for awhile, you know
that I am not into New Year’s resolutions.

I noticed a lot of new people at my health club around the first
of the year. Yesterday, there weren’t as many. By the end of the
month, they will be gone.

According to John Norcross and James Prochaska (authors of
“Changing for Good”), 23% of resolutions are gone in the first
week, and 45% die by the end of the month.

Are yours still intact?

There is simply something about New Year’s resolutions that
doesn’t work.

So why do we bother?

One reason is fear – we feel out of control – things have gotten
to a point where we are in pain . . . enough to do something
about it.

Change doesn’t occur until it becomes our highest priority.

At the beginning of the year, many people make it a priority.

At least for awhile.

Because we know that if things keep going the way they are, it
will really get bad and there may be some serious consequences.

So why do New Year’s resolutions flop?

The focus is in the wrong place – we put our focus on anything
outside ourselves – finding the right food plan (aka “diet”),
joining a diet program, removing the temptations from our homes
and exercising more.

Not that there is anything wrong with any of these actions,
really.

It’s just that it usually doesn’t last in the long run.

Why?

Because the focus needs to be on your inner work – the work you
need to do inside.

That’s right – you’ve heard the expression. “It’s an inside
job.”

It’s true.

Focus on developing the qualities INSIDE you that will last a
lifetime.

That is what we try to help people do in our teleclasses and
groups.

And I am not talking about discipline, except perhaps in setting
boundaries with others to make time for yourself.

What is your inner work? Perhaps you need to work on loving
yourself enough to avoid committing all of your time to others,
leaving you empty, exhausted and reaching for sugar to boost
your energy.

Who do you need to BE to make these changes, to live the life
you want to live?

If you focus more on the BEING than the DOING, you will make a
lot more lasting progress.

Maybe you need to work on building kindness toward yourself so
that you can make good food choices without self-sabotage.

Or perhaps you need to work on developing emotional tolerance,
so that you are not reaching for food at the first inkling of a
dark feeling.

Yes, work on exercise and building a strong body, but also build
those “no” muscles, so you can enjoy the life you worked so hard
to get.

Or maybe you need to say “yes” more often, to take a risk, reach
out to others, start a relationship or build friendships that
offer long-term emotional capital for your future. If you learn
how to connect to another human being, your life will be more
rewarding.

You may need to get a more compelling life, so you aren’t
reaching for food at the first sign of boredom.

Stop expecting others to do it for you and make something of the
life you have.

The proverbial “Prince Charming” isn’t coming. You have the
resources inside you to live your dream.

So put the cookie down and reach for your heart’s desire.

Work on confidence and perseverance – learn how to get back on
track more quickly when you tumble off the track (we all do). If
you adopt an optimistic attitude, any change you want to make
will be an easier road.

Develop a broader perspective . . . learn how to see shades of
gray instead of viewing everything as black and white.

Let go of perfectionism and let good enough be good enough.

Decide to have a nondieting mindset, where every food choice is
just that – it feels like a choice, not a compulsion.

These are the real successes, and change is not difficult once
these internal shifts are made.

But you have to start with working on the right stuff.

Get working on that internal fortitude and you will have a
happier and healthier 2006!

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