Weight Loss Information: Coping With People at Home

We’ve all been there before. We’re going strong in our resolve
to take care of ourselves, including eating what we want to
prevent overeating out of feelings of deprivation. But then some
‘well-meaning’ friend or family member comments, “Are you sure
you should eat that?” Immediately, all our feelings of
self-doubt come rushing back to make us question whether we
really can trust our bodies to guide us in what we need.

When we’re at a supportive healthy weight program retreat like
Green Mountain at Fox Run, feeling confident is much easier
because everyone around us faces similar issues and understands
the need to help each other believe in ourselves. But at home,
such self confidence can be a foreign idea. In a society that’s
almost governed by diet books and the like, it seems easier to
follow what someone else recommends as weight loss information
rather than take the time to turn inwards and explore what we
need to achieve and maintain a healthy weight.

Now is the time, however, to start educating those around us
about a more effective type of weight loss information: personal
support in reaching our health and healthy weight goals.

Get support by asking family and friends to:

-acknowledge our progress, instead of focusing on whether we’ve
achieved, or when we’ll achieve, our goals

-allow us to make our own choices, even if they go against what
they think is best for us

-avoid discussion of our weight or health with others,
especially at social gatherings; and

-help us be patient and realistic in making changes.

More than Weight Loss Information

But what about those who refuse to do any or all of the above?
Because it’s often fruitless to try to change someone who
doesn’t want to see another side of things, it can be helpful to
consider how we can change our choices and reactions to make
things work better for us. Following are ideas for changing the way we think about who we choose to spend
time with, and how we choose to interact with them.

Gather around our families of choice. “We can’t choose
our families of birth, but we can choose to spend times that
matter with people who matter,” says Mimi Francis, MSN,
behavioral health therapist at Green Mountain at Fox Run. Change
traditions if need be. Rather than the usual holiday dinner with
the extended family, take the kids on a long weekend to a dude
ranch, or somewhere else we can have lots of fun without
revisiting old hurts. Changing a tradition is hard the first
time, but thereafter we’ve set the precedent, and we won’t be
expected to show up in the future.

Prepare to have a good time. Before social gatherings
such as family holiday parties, we often revert to
all-or-nothing thinking. We reason “It’s either go and put up
with the usual nonsense, or don’t go at all.” But what else
could we do? How about setting ourselves up for better coping by
spending valuable time nurturing ourselves — a relaxing
afternoon being pampered at a day spa before the big holiday
bash, visualizing a successful event from our perspective? Can
we choose a state of mind to help prevent us from being
triggered by what someone says or does? For example, we might
decide to truly believe “this is their stuff” and resolve not
take their behaviors personally. We might also have a number of
prepared responses for unsupportive comments we can almost
predict we’ll hear.

Put limits and boundaries around interactions with those we
know are incapable of support. Many of us have family
members who fit this description, but on special occasions like
holidays, birthdays, etc., we can’t not be there. So how can we
manage what we know is a potential landmine for our self-esteem?
“We could choose to visit but leave before mealtimes, thereby
avoiding problematic attitudes about our eating,” says Francis.
“Or we might be even more effective in defusing the situation by
refusing to respond to those attitudes if they do surface.
Remember, fires go out when you don’t feed them. There’s a
saying in Tai Chi that if you step out of the way of aggression,
it goes past you and even throws the aggressor off balance.”

Be mindful that substances we use to cope can backfire.
In families with alcoholic tendencies, alcoholic beverages,
often used to add ‘life’ to a party, can lead to incoherent
conversations that can get ugly. Food works to calm us down, but
then the angst about eating can begin, complicating things with
feelings of doubt and worry. Put together a self-help toolbox of
ways to cope without using such substances; try breathing, going
outside for a break, picking your battles, even laughing!

Remember, attitude is everything. And who knows – you may become
a role model for a new type of weight loss
information – how to ensure special occasions don’t set us
up for emotional eating but stay happy like they’re supposed to
be!

For 35 years, Green Mountain at Fox Run has developed and
refined a life-changing program exclusively for women seeking
permanent strategies for healthy weight
loss and health. Based on a combination of proven science
and what works in the real world, our innovative non-diet
lifestyle program offers an integrated curriculum of practical,
liveable techniques that helps women take charge of their
eating, their bodies and their health. Our approach is not
focused on just losing weight but on how to keep it off for a
lifetime. Our participants’ long-term weight loss results are
among the highest of any program, as documented in peer-reviewed
scientific literature. Learn more about our Healthy Weight Loss
Spa – Fitness and Weight Loss Retreat.

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