It’s Not My Fault

I am fed up with dieting because I never manage to lose weight.
I tried every diet under the sun and nothing happens, well maybe
a few pounds to start with and then I hit the problem of nothing
coming off. “Why is this?” I keep asking myself. I have the
right mental attitude, because I know that by signing up for
this plan, it will work, correct?

Time for me to go and meet a friend, maybe she can help because
she is thin. She knows I am on a diet and she does try hard to
motivate me to keep at it. But she doesn’t understand, you see I
am not fat, I am only 100lbs overweight, and there are so many
people who are much heavier than I am. Perhaps the statistics
are wrong, perhaps my ideal weight is a lot higher than the
charts. Whatever I know what I am like and that means I know
best.

“You’re not ordering that are you?” my friend asks me. “Well ,
yes I am. What you don’t understand is today I am feeling
depressed. I am depressed because of what I ate yesterday and
this will make me feel better.” “You overate yesterday, so today
you eat even more?” she says unbelieving. “How are you ever
going to lose weight, if you keep on like this?”

“Don’t start please, because you don’t understand what is
happening” I say to her. “Then help me understand, tell me about
it, because until you do how am I going to be able to help you,
as I promised” she replied.

“Well, take yesterday for a start. The kids were playing up, dh
was no help and I was left feeling like I couldn’t cope. So we
took the kids out for a burger. I was really good, I only had a
coke, burger and large fries. Then in the evening, because I was
so tired dh ordered a pizza in, and before I knew it I had eaten
the whole one. And because I was feeling so bad about it, I then
ate a gallon of ice cream. I felt so sick afterwards, but none
of it was my fault.” She looks amazed at me and says, “How do
you work that out? You were the one who ate it, so how was it
not your fault?” “Oh! That is easy to work out. You see if the
kids had behaved themselves, then I wouldn’t have been so
stressed and had to go out for dinner. If dh had helped around
the house then I wouldn’t have been so tired and could have
cooked a meal. It was his fault about the pizza because he
ordered it in. Well OK he didn’t force me to eat it all, but he
did put it in front of me. I know he hates ice cream but I
bought it for an emergency. What if someone had called around
for dinner, I had to have something to offer them. Well can you
only eat a scoop of ice cream, it was so delicious I had to eat
it all.”

“But you really don’t understand, my weight is NOT my fault.” “I
try hard to control my eating but the food in the supermarket is
too tempting. The kids have chocolate around the house and I
don’t want them eating too much so I have to help them out. If
the fast food places weren’t there we wouldn’t be tempted to eat
there either. And of course, something must have happened in my
past to make me gain weight. I don’t remember it but it has to
be the cause of the problems. Also don’t forget I had the
children and everybody gains weight after having children.” “So
you see none of it is my fault.” “Didn’t you know it is bad to
take the blame for anything today, it does something to you, I
read that somewhere.” “Get real because today we live in a
blameless society, so someone must have caused my problems
because it wasn’t me.”

“I can’t believe you said all that” my friend said to me. “Time
for you to take control of your life, and stop blaming
everybody.” “Have you ever seen a fat lady in a famine country
even when they have however many children?” she asks me. “Well
no, but there again they don’t have burgers and pizza to contend
with.” “No” she says, “They are blessed if they even get one
meal a day, the point is children don’t make you fat, but
overeating does.” “Let’s make a start, by you coming to the gym
with me tomorrow” she asks me. “Tomorrow, well that is difficult
for me, maybe another day.” “Oh so you are not committed to
losing weight then,” she says. “Of course I am, but my joints
and knees hurt too much.” “That is a called too much weight on
them” she says back to me. “I call that hitting below the belt,
what would you know. My weight isn’t the cause of it, who says
it is? I never walk, why walk when I can drive. It is because my
joints are not used to it, and I haven’t the desire to get hot
and sweaty, not tomorrow, maybe another day.”

“Did I tell you I have started a healthy eating plan now, I
signed up on-line, but it isn’t working.” “Why isn’t it working”
she ask. “Well can you imagine they have me on 1400 calories a
day, how am I meant to eat all of those in one. The amount of
food on the plate is enormous, I need far fewer calories than
that, but no-one believes me. Then there is all this water to
drink which isn’t practical for me, and exercise, well my legs
hurt so I can’t do that.” My friend’s face has a look of horror
on it and she just bursts into laughter. “It isn’t funny, how
would you like to be in my position, I’m not really fat just
cuddly and I have a few rolls of fat which I would like to get
rid of.” “1400 calories sounds good to me. Did you know you ate
1300 calories for that burger, fries and coke?” “Never” I reply.
“Check it out on the site and you will see how right I am. Just
think you could have eaten all day and felt better with just 100
calories more, but no you have to have pizza and ice cream and
goodness knows what else.”

“But you keep missing the point, it isn’t my fault” I keep
saying to her, but she wont believe me. “OK I have heard your
reasons, so let me ask you one question” she says. “What do you
expect to happen, now that you have signed up for this new
plan?” “Well, I don’t know really, I suppose I am thinking that
here is a good healthy site but I don’t have time to do the
right things. I want to lose weight but I don’t have the right
foods in the house, and time to get moving.” “Let me tell you
something” she says “You buy the food for the family, so you are
to blame if you have only junk food around, also signing up will
not magic the weight off, it is hard work, but you don’t want to
do the hard work.” “Did you really think signing up was enough,
that you wouldn’t have to do anything, and each week you would
weigh less than you did the last time you weighed.” Now she is
being really hard on me, because she really doesn’t understand.
“You know what your real problem is, you like being fat.” That’s
it, she has gone to far this time. “No I don’t, I want to lose
weight,” I scream at her, getting glances from other diners in
the restaurant. “Yes you do” she calmly says back to me, “If you
didn’t like being fat then you would get rid of the excuses,
take responsibility and do the hard work.” Now I am fuming here,
because she really isn’t the friend I thought she should be. “I
tried and it didn’t work” I said. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t
realise that trying meant eating about 3000 + calories a day and
taking no exercise and not gaining weight, sorry I misunderstood
the whole idea” she says sarcastically. “So it is true, you love
to be fat and you want to stay fat” she says once again. “Now
that I understand that, I can encourage you, so lets go for that
really gooey chocolate cake. I will help you to eat all the
wrong foods, and then you can blame me for giving them to you,
because as you said, IT ISN’T YOUR FAULT.”

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