Why Friends Sabotage Your Diets

Dealing with the Food Pushers, or How to Say No When You Don’t
Any

A friend’s doctor said he should lose 10 pounds and so he is
trying to break his sugar habit. He generally eats well during
the day but his downfall is cookies while watching TV. At an
office luncheon when dessert was being served, he said, “No
thanks, I don’t want any.” A well meaning co-worker then foisted
dessert on him, shoving it in front of him and saying, “You’re
doctor is wrong, have some,” leaving him staring at the dessert
then back to us with a sorrowful look on his face.

Your Friend Is Trying to Make You Happy

His co-worker probably was not out to sabotage him, but more
likely was remembering the last time she said no when she really
wanted to say yes. She wished someone would have made the
decision for her, albeit against her wishes, and then she could
have eaten the dessert because it wouldn’t be polite to refuse
(or some other excuse), so now she’s doing him the favor. She is
wrong, but that’s the way people generally are. We all
understand the pain of deprivation and want to make it better
for each other.

Devise a Plan for Dealing with Sabotaging Food Pushers

First, if you do want some dessert, have some, enjoy it and move
on with your life. It is not a big deal to have a dessert, even
if you’re already over full. It’s one eating event out of
thousands. But when you are being pushed into something you
don’t want it’s no different than being offered drinks when
you’re underage; peer pressure doesn’t stop because you graduate
from high school.

You Don’t Have to Explain: Just Say No

If you’re making an effort to make better choices, choosing to
eat only foods that really appeal to you, and learning to say no
when you just don’t want any, you can tell the food pusher, “No,
thanks,” and leave it at that. You don’t owe anyone an
explanation. You could also take a plate and let it sit there.
Most people are so preoccupied with themselves they won’t notice
whether you’re eating. If someone does ask, “Aren’t you going to
eat your cake,” you could say, “In a minute.” Keep busy talking
and just delay until it’s time to go, then discretely set the
plate aside.

If you watch the thinner folks at parties you’ll notice they
talk a lot and eat little. It’s difficult to talk and gesture
while holding a drink in one hand and a plate of food in the
other.

If the food seems to be calling your name and it’s becoming more
difficult to resist since it’s sitting in front of you then
simply pretend it is made of plastic, like the display food in a
Chinese restaurant. It’s not meant to be eaten, just admired.
Then admire it all you like.

Why do we need to resort to trickery to make our own food
choices? Because food pushers are not going to accept your
arguments, no matter how well you state your case, so don’t
bother fighting a losing battle. You can’t change their mind;
they want to eat some and they’d feel better if you ate some
too. You can’t change other people, you can only change yourself.

Remember the next time you feel the urge to push food on
someone, food means love in our society, but choice means more.
Offer it, and then let it go if they say no.

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