“But Mom, I Exercise Everyday, but Still No Weight Loss”

For all you mothers and fathers out there–miracles of miracles! I just got a little bit smarter! I never imagined that it would happen. I’m not holding my breath, though; it might not last very long.

I was really dumb not many years ago when my three kids were teenagers, and they made sure to remind me just how dumb they thought I was.

I don’t know exactly what possessed her (maybe a snow demon up there in frigid Alaska), but three weeks ago my youngest daughter, Nika, actually asked her dumb mother for advice.

But, this is what’s so extraordinary, dear friend.

She didn’t ask me for mother-daughter, girlie-girl kind of advice. She asked me for weight loss advice, a topic I happen to know a bit about, and one I purposely don’t discuss with my daughters.

Can you blame me?

For once in my life, I quieted myself, listened closely, and, trust me, thought very carefully before I ventured into the tricky mine-field of mothers, daughters, and sensitive self-esteems.

My mama bear instinct instantly sensed that she was beyond frustrated. She hated her weight, her body, and not feeling good about herself.

Her clothes were tight. She got sick a lot. And she was tired. When the scale showed that she had hit an all-time high, she cried. It took her two days before she could get up the nerve to tell her husband how much she weighed. She was so ashamed.

She said, “Mom, I just feel fat.”

This mama bear’s heart just shattered in a million little pieces. I could feel my daughter’s pain.

And you, Mom, know what kind of pain I’m talking about—the worst kind of pain of all.

“The worst part, Mom,” as Nika bravely continued her tale of woe, “is that I exercise every day and have for a long time, but I still can’t lose weight.”

And then she opened the gate into that mine-field and asked, “Mom, what can I do to lose weight?”

Can you even imagine how much courage it took for my darling daughter to ask me that question?

Her courage, and her trust in herself and in me, moved me to silent tears.

I took a deep breath, asked for guidance, and tenderly held my daughter’s hand as we tiptoed together into a deeper level of our relationship.

I told her gently, “Sweetie, if you tell me exactly what you eat, I will tell you exactly what you can do to lose weight. And if you’re really ready, you will lose weight.”

She was indeed ready.

A couple of days ago, Nika called me up. She called me in the middle of my work day, something she rarely does.

She just couldn’t wait one moment longer. She was absolutely flying high.

In three weeks, she had lost 15 pounds! Her clothes were loose on her. Her upcoming graduation outfit had to be altered twice—down another size. She felt energized and better about herself than she had in years.

I asked her if she felt deprived. “No, Mom, not at all. I do just what you said. I eat until I am full and satisfied. I just fill up on the right foods—like lots of fruits, salads, and vegetables. I still eat meat sometimes, but I got rid of cheese, butter, oils, and snacks before bed.”

Then Nika shared with me something I had never known before—that teaches me for thinking that I know everything about my kids.

She said that she never thought she could lose weight unless she starved herself or got sick.

As she said, “I found out for myself that losing weight is not about eating or not eating; it’s about what you eat. And for the first time in my life, I feel like I am in control of my body, and I feel wonderful! I actually look forward to eating fruit and salads now.”

My heart sang in tune to my daughter’s heart.

But this, my friend, is the very best part of all to one very happy mama bear.

Nika confided in me that before the weight came off, she wanted people to notice her and compliment her on how she looked, just because she had worked so hard with her daily routine of exercise.

She wanted and needed the strokes from folks.

“But now, Mom, I feel so good about myself that, all of a sudden, I don’t care anymore what people think or say. In fact, if they ask me if I’m on a diet, I just say ‘no’ (because I’m not) and change the subject.”

Nika graduates from college this May. Her passion is to teach junior high school children.

When Nika walks into that classroom, whether it be a classroom in school or a classroom in life, her unique and beautiful light will shine brightly and illuminate the uniqueness and beauty of all those whose lives she touches—especially this one mama bear.

Thanks, my friend, for allowing me to share a piece of my life and heart with you.

Dr. Leslie Van Romer is a health motivational speaker, writer, and lifestyle coach. Visit http://www.DrLeslieVanRomer.com for more inspiration.

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