I Lost 80 Pounds and Beat The Bullies

     Losing 6 stone was sweet revenge towards the bullies who tormented my life for five years; now it is me who has the last laugh!

The last straw came in October 2002 when I had a severe case of sunburn while on holiday in Cyprus. I was close to 15 stone and as a result of sunburn on my legs they swelled up to such an extent that I was a cause for concern to my family, especially my mum. I knew the reason was down to one thing, which was my size. I hadn't been that overweight until I had gone to University and by the time I graduated I weighed a hefty 14 stone. I joined Weight Watchers before I left for University but as you can imagine student diets weren't exactly friendly to someone who was trying to slim. For three years I probably lived on a diet of junk food, fry ups and pizzas. Even though exercise wasn't a problem - I walked every day - I wasn't burning off all those calories I was consuming. I could sit in my room and easily finish off a pack of Penguins and chocolate biscuits. Bread was a downfall too.

Although I knew I had to do something about my weight, it was another 8 months before I did anything about it.

In University I had tried to slim down and I managed to lose a stone on the Slim Fast plan. But it soon piled back again along with more on top of that for good measure. I attended Weight Watchers when I was home between terms but going back and forth wasn't setting up a good routine for me to be able to lose weight. When I finally graduated in 2000 I thought that I might be able to control my eating better, but I had picked up so many bad habits that they had stuck. I was still polishing off that loaf of bread a day as well as three or four bars of chocolate;in fact my addiction to chocolate and crisps had grown to such an extent that I was making special trips to the supermarket just to get my fix. A lot of the time I would hide my eating, waiting until everyone had gone to bed before tucking in to chocolate and crisps, and also toast swimming in butter. I wasn't proud of the fact I was eating so much, but the addiction was too much. Between 2000 and 2003 it was an up and down struggle to lose weight, but the weight just came back on each time. This was purely because I didn't have the strength of mind to carry it through. During this period I had joined and re-joined Weight Watchers and there was no wonder that I had begun to believe that I would never lose all this weight.

I attended Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time in September 2002 with the same determination as every person I suppose goes through at the beginning of a diet, and to begin with I did quite well - I was losing the weight and by Christmas I had lost about 2 stone. When January came I had lost control (yet again)and my eating habits had returned to how they were. I was eating more than ever. I managed to put on the 2 stone I had lost as well as the stone and a half extra taking me up to 15 st 5 by June 2003. By this time I was beginning to get fed up of being unable to find fashionable clothes that fitted me in the shops and I was going to specialist shops to find nice clothes to fit my size 20-22 frame. Something inside my head clicked, and I knew that I had to do something once and for all to change my eating habits and to look good. I also knew that if I told anybody they would just scoff and say that they had heard it all before and I knew deep down that they didn't believe that I was able to lose weight and keep it off.

To begin with I decided to start gradually; cutting one thing out every day so my body wouldn't have too much of a shock when I decided to cut down altogether on fatty foods. It was easy for me by this stage as I had done it all before for many years. But this time was different; this time I knew that I had to work hard for that fiver I was spending every week in my weigh in. One week it hit me. I decided there and then to go back to Weight Watchers and stay there until all my weight had come off.

I had one incentive which was the fear of failure. I just knew that I couldn't fail to lose weight again. This time I had to get down to my target weight and to keep it off. I didn't tell a soul that I was going to Weight Watchers; although my dad guessed in the end as the butter wasn't disappearing as fast as it used to! I think that was the thing that helped me (the fact that no one knew) and therefore there would be no pressure. There was also the fact that I was doing it purely for myself and not for anybody else.

That was in June 2003. I had a fantastic leader, Sue who helped me along the way and also my current leader Karen has been the most fantastic support. I truly believe that without them I wouldn't have been able to do it. Thank you guys for being there for me and believing in me. You have no idea how much this means to me.

I got off to the best possible start by losing 6lbs in my first week. I knew then that I had to keep going. Week after week I pushed and pushed myself, telling myself that I would not fail this time. This time it was going to be different. Week after week as a result, I lost weight, sometimes 2lbs, sometimes 3lbs, sometimes only half a pound; but as long as it was going in the right direction I didn't care how much it was. By June 2004 I had got to my target weight of 10st 5; 5 stone lighter. But it didn't end there. I kept going, knowing that I wanted to be that size 10 I always craved to be. By August 2004 I was 9st 8lbs; a weight I haven't been since I was 11 years old. Imagine my joy when I walked into a shop and tried a size 10 denim skirt. When it slipped on easily past my now slender hips my jaw hit the floor!

My diet has now completely changed. Instead of all the bacon rolls, chocolates, crisps and junk that I used to eat, I was eating healthy casseroles, jacket potato and tuna, and a lot of fruit and vegetables. One day a week (normally after my weigh in) I would treat myself to jumbo sausage and chips from the local chip shop. I knew that if I were depriving myself of everything that I enjoyed then I would crave for them even more. Tuesday has now become known in my home as Treat Day, a day where four hours of a Tuesday evening would be cast aside for me to enjoy the things I had left behind. They taste better now knowing that they are a treat, not an everyday occurrence. Every day of the week is dedicated to my healthy eating; therefore a couple of hours on a Tuesday evening wouldn't even make a dent in my diet.

I also knew that I needed to exercise to keep the weight loss going and to tone my muscles. I have taken to walk to and from work every day, and I also walk two miles in my lunch hour. As a result I am walking 20 miles a week. That has helped enormously. A couple of years ago I couldn't even walk across a road! I have saved huge amounts of money on petrol!

This time round I have found losing the weight very easy; even though I did have the odd off week. But the off weeks only made me more determined. I believe that was the key to my success: determination. I believe that willpower does not exist if you want to succeed at something. Willpower means that you're willing yourself to do something, but if you do not have that drive, that determination in your heart of hearts, then willpower is not going to help you in the long run.

I have lost count of all the people who are in disbelief at how much I have lost. I have never had so many compliments thrown at me and it is always difficult to know what to say! But it does feel lovely knowing that people are staring at you for all the right reasons! My wardrobe is now in need of a complete overhaul as nearly everything is size 18 or above! Shopping has become my new addiction!

This has completely transformed my life. My self esteem has rocketed to such an extent that I hardly recognise myself. I was bullied at high school and my self esteem had reached an all time low. My confidence has soared to new heights and it has meant such a lot to me as in the past I was so afraid of speaking to people because I was always wondering what they were thinking of me. When someone told me I was beautiful I hardly dared to believe them; I thought they were just saying it. Now I DO believe it - although I still can't quite get used to my new frame of body and frame of mind! Sometimes I find myself in tears because I can't believe that it was possible for me to be this happy. Now all I need is a man on my arm! But at least now I have the confidence to go and get him!

This is my revenge to the bullies at my school who had made my life at school a living hell. I didn't deserve to be treated that way. All I did was go to school like any normal teenager and all I got in return was being picked on. I can honestly say that this revenge is very sweet indeed; because with the help of Weight Watchers and my sheer determination, I have managed to beat the bullies and come out of an extremely dark tunnel smiling. I only hope that my story will be a message to all bullying victims out there: there is light at the end of the tunnel, you have just got to keep fighting for it.

My biggest achievement since losing the weight is that I won the first prize in my local newspaper and became the Slimmer of the Year 2006 in the South Wales Echo, Cardiff, United Kingdom. My prize was a Christmas shopping trip to New York City. What an incentive to keep the weight off!

Look at me now guys - it is now me laughing - and it feels extremely good.

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