How Others React When Your Weight Changes

One of the tendencies of human nature is to compare ourselves with others. Often we will compare ourselves with someone in a worse situation, to make our own seem better. However, remember that just as we are comparing, so are others!

As your weight stabilizes, and the new, ideal-weight and ideal-thinking person in you emerges, there is likely to be some resistance from those around you, because “things have changed”. Most of people do not like change, especially when the change is not their idea! And their paradigms or autopilots are going work really hard to keep things the same for them and that can affect you if you are not aware of what is happening.

But it’s your weight, not theirs. How can your weight affect them? Think of what has changed for those around you as your weight changed. Let’s look at a couple of examples.

First, are any of your friends “food buddies”? People (of any weight) you know you can overeat around because they love food too and are never judgmental of your portion sizes? They may now be concerned that the friendship won’t include food anymore, or if it did, that you would begin to judge them for their food choices. They aren’t going to like this and may begin to consciously or unconsciously sabotage your weight-reduction/maintenance efforts.

Are any of your friends also overweight? But maybe not quite as overweight as you (were)? As your weight lightens, what changed for them is how they perceive themselves relative to your new weight. They may now be referred to as “the heavy one”! Subconsciously they may end up working to keep you as you were (heavy), to keep things the same for them.

Or you may have some friends who are even heavier than you were, and they thought of you and them as a “club”, where membership required extra weight. Together you could talk about the injustices done to heavy people, or go shopping at a large-sized store, or just sit around being comfortable (i.e. not feeling judged) in each other’s presence. Basically, your new ideal weight body means that you no longer belong to this club, and the other members will not be comfortable having you as part of it. They may try to sabotage your weight efforts, maybe not even knowingly, to keep you part of the club. However, as you continue through life at your ideal weight, eventually you are not going to want to be part of this club either, as you no longer fit the criteria for membership. Unless these friends start down the path you are already on, you are better off without these people in your life. (I am not saying they are not nice people, just that for now at least, you don’t need them to achieve your goals.)

I believe this is why so many “well-meaning” people really try to thwart your efforts. Because of the changes they are going to have to make to accommodate the new you! I am not saying this is conscious on their part, I know most often it isn’t. It is just their paradigms fighting to keep everything as it was for them. You’re not the only one with stubborn paradigms, that’s for sure!

So be aware as you go out into the world in a new “re-packaged” version of yourself. This is going to have a ripple effect on those around you, and you need to know this.

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