Are You Really Hungry

Most people have become overweight because they eat too much. Usually, we don’t over eat because we are hungry. It’s more that we have used food as a friend, lover, or anything else that might be missing in our life.

Right before I left to go to Iraq I met a woman at a buffet luncheon in Houston. She ate enormous amounts of food. She was easily 100 pounds overweight. In conversation, she asked me what I do for my work and I told her I was a fitness coach and personal trainer.

That seemed to drive her to return to the buffet and get a variety of desserts even after she had already eaten 3 plates of food. She seemed almost defiant about it as if to show me she can eat and do anything she wants. But, she seemed to want to talk.

As we talked a bit more she began to tell me about her soon to be ex-husband that had an affair with a friend. She told me that she used to be thin and a few other things.

I don’t think she realized it but what she was doing was justifying her over use of food. Not only that, she had turned to food for her comfort. Food was the friend that was helping through the hurtful situation that she was going through.

I make no judgment of this woman for being overweight; quite the contrary. I felt like she was reaching out for help by telling a complete stranger her story. It’s not like I have never overeaten because I was sad, lonely, or any other emotion. I understand but it’s not the answer.

I did feel deeply saddened during our conversation. As I watched her medicate herself with food I wondered, what her pay off was because we do everything for a reason.

What she was doing wasn’t hurting her ex-husband or anyone else. It was self-sabotage. The only person it was hurting was her. I wasn’t sad necessarily at the way she looked but more about how she felt.

Not only was she putting a tremendous amount of stress on her body but I absolutely know that when she looks in the mirror she feels depressed at the way she looks. The reason I believe that is because she told me that she was thin at one time.

I don’t think she could actually grieve the loss of her husband so she overindulged in food to masquerade the deep hurt she was feeling.

I was getting on a plane to go to Iraq in 3 hours and as a fitness coach, I found it frustrating that I couldn’t help her. I feel my calling is to encourage and help people live up to the potential all of us have.

The reason that I wanted to share this story is that maybe you, in some way, share the same story and feelings about yourself. You use food to help you through tough situations and then later, you kick yourself in your hind parts because you feel bad and know without a doubt, you’re spiraling down to a bottomless pit feeling powerless to climb back out.

So, what you do? You eat some more food so that you feel better for a moment and go through the same bad feelings all over again. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt.

Enough is enough; quit doing those things that harm you. You’re not hurting anyone but yourself. If you feel saddened by this woman’s story it’s probably because you see yourself in her or perhaps you know someone that’s going through the same thing.

Many of us feel it’s a sign of weakness to need help and even more in asking for help. My friend, there’s no shame in asking for help. We all need the fellowship of others. God created Eve for Adam because there was no one else like him. He needed the fellowship of another human.

When I start working with a client I always ask them why they called me. I almost always get the answer, they can’t do it on their own and/or need someone to be accountable to. They need the support of someone else.

They have already sent themselves way too many negative messages or have received those negative messages from someone close to them.

Many of us, myself included, turned to Christ for help because they were making a mess of their lives and knew there was a better life for them. We want the love and acceptance of God. Everyone has a need for love and acceptance without exception.

The next time you catch yourself overeating because of a negative emotion ask yourself, “am I really hungry” and if not, step away from the buffet line.

You are much more important than whatever that comfort food is you are about to inhale.

If you need help, ask for it. Maybe that help will be from a friend, God, or a personal trainer but if you need help…get it! If you’re reading this and thinking of someone that might need your help, extend the offer of your support to them.

There’s no greater feeling than to see someone climb out of the pit they have created and that is why I’ve been working in fitness for so many years. My payoff is to see the miraculous change in a person when they feel good about themselves.

If you’re reading this message consuming a huge meal or having just finished one I ask you, “are you really hungry?”

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