Losing Weight - The Power Of Practicing No

As a species, we are naturally inclined to say 'yes' to others. Unfortunately, sometimes we find ourselves saying yes even if it sets us back on our own goals and efforts to build good, healthy habits.

For better or worse, saying yes and no have become complex matters. We don't want to offend, but we also have a right to take care of ourselves and pursue the goals we have set. Learning the fine art of the appropriate way of saying no is a strong step in protecting ourselves as we develop the habits that will help us lose weight and feel better. Over the next 30 to 60 days, incorporate the tactics below to build your "No" muscle, and help yourself to healthier habits.

Understand their Requests

Remember that your friends are not your enemies! They like you and value your company, and their requests typically stem from that. Offering you popcorn during a movie or taking you out for ice cream after dinner are not their ways of trying to sabotage your efforts, they're gestures of friendship and affection. In fact, this is what makes it very hard to say no; we know they don't mean any harm and we want to reciprocate, so refusing it feels like refusing them on some level.

It's important to take the whole matter in context. Sometimes our friends don't understand what we're trying to do, for example. The news bombards us day and night with information about 'fad' diets and healthy eating trends that no one sticks to, so naturally there's some skepticism and a lack of understanding about how habit-building works. We have to remember that our relationship is built on respect, and that our friends are not out to secretly 'get' us.

That said, part of giving our friends credit is trusting them to honor our commitments. They aren't going to stop being our friends because we say 'no' to an offering of food we know we shouldn't eat, or because we decline an invitation to go have drinks at the bar. They're our friends, after all - be polite but firm, and understanding will prevail.

Practice for Perfection

Rehearsal has more effect than just helping actors remember their parts. It builds a confidence in the intended role, and lets the performance become more natural. As part of your attempt to build a lifelong habit, tap into this technique. After all, habits grow stronger the more frequently we practice them. Instead of waiting for the crisis moment and wrestling with whether you want to say no, practice some basic ways to refuse, and rehearse your explanations so that they can be presented logically.

The practice will solidify the material in your mind, and it will make saying it at crunch time much easier. You won't have the 'on the spot' jitters that come from being forced to make an immediate decision. The decision was made days earlier, then practiced and reinforced until it became as natural as walking.

Use the Selective No

Often, you don't have to say no to an entire offer. Usually a friend invites you to an outing for the sake of your company after all. So, it's perfectly acceptable to say no to the specific item (such as that ice cream sundae) that will compromise your goal, but still go along for the companionship. Find ways to compromise, so that your "no" will have more meaning.

Give yourself an additional edge by using your other techniques. Make sure you eat regular meals in healthy, satisfying proportions. Use proper snacking to curb cravings for sugar and other things you know fall outside your ideal diet. Have an alternative prepared for unhealthy snacks, so that you can spend time with your friends guilt free.

Turn to the Unqualified No

Sometimes a selective no just doesn't quite work. We all have lapses in willpower, such as that one delicious temptation we just cannot say no to. If the get together is centered around that temptation (e.g., meeting for dessert), we should feel empowered to say no, without qualification or uncertainty.

In these cases, consider saying a polite, 'I really can't make it, I'm very sorry.' There is no shame in removing yourself from temptation. If you can't resist it when it's right there, don't feel bad about keeping yourself away. This is part of building good habits, and your friends will ultimately understand if they have your best interests at heart.

You Deserve to Say No

Remember first and foremost that you have a goal you want to reach. Everything you eat or drink can affect this goal, and you have every right to reach the goals you set for yourself. If you know that something is going to hinder or prevent you from reaching this goal, you have the right to say no. Be polite by all means, but make sure you stick to your commitment. It's important that you stay focused for the 30 to 60 days it takes to form the good habits that will set you on the right path to proper eating and a healthy weight.

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