Why The Tapeworm Diet Does Not Work

The tapeworm diet does not work, and I intend to tell you why: it's sheer logic! This article will explain that the diet could work if you could give it a "whatever is the opposite of a laxative" supplement, but while tapeworms poop and pee, you have no chance!

Selling Tapeworm for Dietary Purposes is Illegal

The US government has banned trading in tapeworm - but why? If the tapeworm does not work why ban it? Is the country awash with tapeworms so that their import must be restricted? Perhaps they are just too difficult to tax, because the Great American Public might not be as agreeable to being scanned for tapeworm as they are to being checked for bombs.

It's one thing checking for drugs but quite another to have a tapeworm detector stuffed down your throat or up your rectum!

Nope - there are other reasons. One is that the tapeworm diet does not work and is actually a bit dodgy and the other is that it might kill you ( that would make you lose weight) - so the FDA have banned doctors from slipping tapeworm down your throat (or anything else) for health reasons. It is illegal to sell tapeworm or tapeworm diet pills on the open market in the USA but you can get them in Mexico or on the internet where anything goes.

Does the Tapeworm Diet Work?

So you can't take a prescription for tapeworm to your local pharmacist and be handed over a few 50 foot monsters wriggling in a bag for you to eat, and nor can you buy their eggs. It has nothing to do with food - they are not classed as foodstuffs, and you can't boil or scramble these eggs - it would stop them working.

But assuming you could get your hands on some, would they work? Being serious, is it worth your while driving down to Mexico, or going online with a Google search for tapeworm eggs? I am a scientist - a genuine chemist with an Honors Degree in Chemistry from Edinburgh University and I write with all the authority of a qualified chemist who knows more about tapeworm than anybody that knows nothing about them. So here's my take on why the tapeworm diet does not work.

What are Tapeworms?

If you eat feces, swallow feces-contaminated food or eat raw fish, beef or pork from contaminated animals, you can ingest tapeworm or their eggs. You can also take them in pills or eat live segments (have them on toast, but don't cook them - that will kill them).

The Tapeworm Diet: How it Works

The theory behind the tapeworm diet is very simple:

a) You make yourself have tapeworm.

b) You eat food.

c) The tapeworm eats your food.

d) You lose weight.

Why the Tapeworm Diet Does Not Work

1. The tapeworm might not like onions or fat, or it might be a veggie worm - or even a vegan - so it won't eat your food. It might even be on a diet if it is too fat.

2. The tapeworm has its digestive system and metabolism just as you have, so

3. After taking its nutrition it grows. It gets bigger and puts on weight - therefore, so do you! How much does a 60 foot tapeworm weigh? Not far off half a ton I would imagine. I even read of a 168 foot one.

4. It also passes its feces through its anus just as you do, so it pees and poops in your intestine!

5. The tapeworm diet therefore CONTRIBUTES to your weight by:

a) Fattening up a tapeworm that started as just an egg or a single segment. As it gets heavy then so do you.

b) The tapeworm pees and poops into your intestine, so you then have to pass that along with yours and how much does your own poo weigh, without adding a 160 foot tapeworm poop. That must be at least as big as a dozen burgers! Until you pass the tapeworms you will heavier.

Perhaps you can now see why it is illegal in the USA. American politicians are allegedly well in with the food growers in the USA and could therefore likely oppose any motion designed to reduce your purchase of food. Because the tapeworm and its feces is effectively acting as a food supply for you, the tapeworm have been banned until such time as they develop a strain that does not provide you with a free meal (tapeworm poop).

Conclusion

The tapeworm diet is effective but not as effective as it could be. It is an inefficient way of losing weight, and the United States government has recognized this fact.

So to recap: the food the tapeworm eats is processed just as yours is, and ultimately ends up as a combination of energy (wriggling worm), fat, muscle (heavier worm = heavier you) and poop. Where does the poop go - into your intestine where it then loses its sugars into your bloodstream - that adds even more weight to your body cells.

It's the ultimate in recycling! It means the tapeworm diet does not work.

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