I Love My Size

Who needs to make flatten belly exercises or flatten belly diets? I'm fat and I don't see a disadvantage in being fat. Being fat is not a bad thing. For once, fat people look strong. When someone wants to open a pickle jar they always ask help from fat people. Even if you can't open the jar they keep thinking that you are strong. We can find jobs at the best clubs in town. Have you ever seen a skinny bouncer? I haven't. Because people think that if you are big, you must also be strong. There is also the "not being cold" advantage. While everyone else shivers from the cold we fat people stand strong. I even think I'm paying half of what my neighbors pay for heating in the winter. I love eating and I eat good, high quality food. I enjoy my meals more than those skinny people. They think about calories with every bit they chew. I think about flavor.

You must have been to one of those all you can eat pizza buffets. Now that's where we fat people rule. How many pizzas can you eat if you force yourself? Two, maybe three. However we fat people can eat more than you can even start to imagine. We really get what we pay for. I made friends with a lot of fat people and I can organize a meeting whenever I like. Have you ever seen 10 fat people on a free pizza buffet? If there is a pizza restaurant you don't like, just give me a call. I can bankrupt them in a couple of weeks or force them to stop those all you can eat for free hours. If they say we can't serve to you, I can start a lawsuit and even take their restaurant from them and you say being fat is a bad thing.

Of course there are not only fat and skinny people. There are also those in between. They don't look strong; they don't look fit. They are the ones who must feel sorry for themselves. There is a strategic mistake most of these people do. They try to lose weight. It is so much harder to lose weight than to gain a couple pounds more. It is an expensive process without any fun. These people pay millions of dollars just to get thinner and they don't even eat the most beautiful foods in the world. However if they spent their money on high quality, high calorie food, they can gain lots of weight in short time and join our ranks. The way to our ranks is a short and enjoyable one while diets and exercises are boring and painful.

They say fat people live shorter and unhealthy and I take them to my grandfather who is about two times my size and 90 years old. He is a happy old man with a perfect life. The doctors say if he doesn't fall down the stairs and break his neck, he could easily live another 20 years. Now that's what I want to be when I grow up. You keep trying flatten belly methods.

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